bohemian rhapsody

2009-03-06T00:54:00.004+08:00

Stranded at Sea

when you don't expect, you don't have reason to fear.
you go where the tide carries you.
it doesnt matter which shore you get washed up at.
so as long as it's land.

But what if you had a destination in mind?
And only one hurdle laid between you and the end point.
the hurdle would be the sea.
and i would be in a boat.

Would I be stranded in this vast body of blue?

2009-02-20T08:47:00.004+08:00

My hands, your hands.

Yeah if you're wondering why this post is entitled "My hands" it's not because of David Archuleta. LOL. ok lah, but his debut album is great :D i hope he follows in the footsteps of Chris Daughtry and not so much Ruben Studdard. :/ i think it's quite sad to see how they fought so hard to achieve success in AI and then just fade from the limelight sometime later.

ANYWAY, i made a chain necklace yesterday night. (: but i haven tested the response on lj yet. such fads don't last and i don't know why i allow myself to be swept along with them. maybe it's just part and parcel of being a girl. :O Maybe it's just an identity crisis. haha. but regardless of the reason why, im still glad doing what im doing because it's sort of realising this unfulfilled and never will be be part of me that seeks to be a designer. but it's definitely worth noting that this is anything but an original concept. And I would like to apologise if I make anyone upset and also, give credits to the owner of this brainchild.

And to address another problem. I hope I haven't been too much of a jerk lately. My words are getting increasingly blunt and I've passed off a lot of judgements lately, one too many in fact, and my conscience is hurting. Maybe you can say it's inevitable for humans to err but could that just be another excuse that people use to make themselves feel better? my humour can be rather curt and when I get entrenched in emotion, I no longer speak with much thought. Sometimes, I begin to wonder is this due to my lack of perspective in life. And my daily decisions are swayed and shaped by the thoughts of others around me. At the end of the day, I can only stop and wonder how far this lack of perspective can carry me in life. and what would i do without you?

2009-02-11T19:40:00.015+08:00

back from a long, long hiatus. haha. actually i experienced a sudden wave of nostalgia. and i need to pen my thoughts down. you'll see why.

today was my last day of work. and i tell you, you can never find nicer colleagues anywhere else in the world. spur of the moment decision and impulsiveness cannot be a more apt description for my resignation. okay, i was stressed. but who isn't? and stress can be managed. if only i knew better.

if this isn't love, what is?

Happy Early Valentine's Day cum Farewell.

Reminds me of the good old days in Cedar where I had to contain my Vdae stash inside a gigantic lollipop container. Some thanks I must say -

To my fantastic batchmates - Daryl, Benny, Jun Shyang, Seok Kian and Janice
Thank you guys for your company, jokes and help! (: don't know how this work experience would have been like without the five of you. thank you for the flowers, choc and card. and i would like to thank Jun Shyang especially for the prank. -.- what goes around comes around ok? haha. we've done enough damage for now. lol.

To Shimin and Wan Ling
My favourite cedarians!! :D you guys make work a joy. though we get scolded from time to time, I guess it's the experience that counts and the company that matters at the end of the day. shimin, im sorry if i dropped the bomb on you though i promised not to at the very start. pardon my impulsiveness. :/ and wanling, you are ever so understanding. haha. must stand up to Alex ok? consider diamond, the hardest substance on this planet when executing revenge on Dr. Love aka Mr. Thick-skinned. haha. will definitely come back to visit you all de! and you all can rant all you want to me coz i will have loads of space up in my head. i miss the canteen food already. but im missing the time we've spent together more. :( i will come back as often as i can!

To Dr. Love
"Remember , if Valentine isn't found in your heart, you can't find it on the day. But hopefully you find it inside my bag." yes, I did find it inside your bag and I found it inside all of you as well. If this isn't love, what is? take good care of everyone in the office and continue to prescribe a daily dose of laughter to all of them. after all, isn't laughter the best medicine?

To everyone else who made a difference:
Thank you for making me realise that even though I might not get to take up a job that i love, I can still learn to love the job that i've taken up. one month may not be that long a period of time, but this one month has made a difference nonetheless. (: and for that, I cannot be more grateful.

to end...
life is short. opportunities past us by every single day. life is frail. people come and people go. and my point is - seize control of the moment. you've been a really wonderful friend. and i hope that wherever you are now, you have found peace. God bless. Amen.

2008-03-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

just experienced a sudden urge to pen down some thoughts.
oh, and thank you pamela, for reminding me that i still have a second chance to make things right.

something about dream schools...
"I was on the other side of the gate last year, looking in, wanting real bad to be in; but now on this side of the gate, i kinda take it for granted that this is a dream sch of many, for me its sch now, just sch."

and what i will never be quite able to get over...
You told me to make lemonade when given lemons
I took the lemons
But I was never able to make that awesome a cup of lemonade
Why, others might ask…
Well, that’s because deep down we all knew that I was pining for cranberries

get over it. move on.

2008-03-04T19:52:00.001+08:00

Sunday
60 stories
National Vertical Marathon 2008.
we climbed, we saw, we conquered.

thank you for taking every single step with me.
thank you for being at every turn of the stair
thank you for having my back
but most importantly, thank you for just being there. (:

2007-12-08T07:13:00.000+08:00

it has been three months since my last update.
but once again, im doing this with a ton of blue-blacks.
but that's besides the point.
3 star rocks!
once again, it's all in the mind, people!
it really isn' all that bad or scary as its name suggests or what others make it out to be.
really, it's all about taking the plunge.
after all, the greatest rewards await those who dare to take the plunge. ((:
extracted from yet another poster at CSSC's toilet.

anyway, what i want to say is that you can never stop believing in yourself.
especially when surrounded by a wonderful bunch of friends and coaches...and God? haha.
24 th comm rocks!
though i didnt manage to do the eskimo roll or plunge all the way till my shoulders touched the water before doing a high support recovery, im immensely grateful for this experience nevertheless.
haha. and ironically for a person who used to dread capsizes, the all in rescue has become my favourite component.
i suppose after doing like god-knows how many capsizes, the fear just goes away with time and practise.
oh yeahh. and i managed to do a one man rescue! yesh! :D despite chris's countless demoralizing remarks. lol. converted the nu huo to li liang. haha. thanks coach!
but i still need more water time. alot more.

so after yesterday's session, we went to tampines for KFC DINNER. :X
okok. no food poisoning. i had a zinger. nearly lysed.
ohh!! and i got my ears pierced...not as bad as i imagined.
once again, it's all in the mind. haha. now im so excited. -.-"
and yu rong is even more excited. -.-" -.-"
and chewy cant imagine me with earrings.
ok, so much for feeding you well, dog! lol.
and im meeting her for yong tau foo later!!
im a happy person for now.
but wait till homework comes knocking on my door.
5 weeks haf whizzed past.
and the hw is still under the bed. :X

2007-09-17T20:20:00.000+08:00

once in a lifetime means there's no second chance
this is why you and me should grab it while we can.
hmm. extracted those lines from HSM 2.
find them kind of meaningful.
and extremely applicable in the context of my life.
cant seem to expl why im so tired.
maybe im just disappointed.
with myself especially.
haha. i told jess this morning that she might well be my OGL next yr.
sometimes, i really feel as though we're living to fulfil the expectations of others.
but then when i ask myself why is it impt to work hard
i find myself arriving at the same conclusion every time.
"it's for my own good"
"you aspire to be a gynae, don't you?"
yeah. sure i do. who doesn't aspire to go far in life?
and to aspire to inspire is often easier said then done.
well. one thing's for sure - im definitely inspired.
by the last breakthrough!! :D
i wanna make a breakthrough.
and i know i can.
i know i can.
i know i will.

2007-08-17T03:40:00.000+08:00

WAHAHA!
i finished my AQ!!! ((:
honestly speaking, this is the FIRST piece of homework that i've completed in this week.
at home, needless to speak.
and this is also my first late night.
guess i wouldnt have to wake up at 4 plus for today
coz im not even intending to sleep
staying awake never felt this good
by the way, im not bonkers. not yet.
and im still fantasizing over that black puma tote.
wait till i lay my claws on it. ((:
good morning 17 august! it's a brand new day ahead!
and a brand new keet yeng. (:

2007-08-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY GERALDINE! :D
you are 17 years & 10 days old at this point in time!

also,
happy belated seventeenth birthday yun rui!!
happy 17th birthday russell!!

must kill the AQ later.
thus im sharpening my knives first.
i think i've really underestimated GP.
and obviously, i've overestimated my own abilities.
i definitely have a long, long way to go.

anyway, i watched incredible tales earlier on.
it really scared the living daylights out of me.
but i asked for it anyway.
and that weijoo was so helpful.
simply had to rub things the wrong way.
about fort motor factory near his house.
wahh. luckily he didnt go into detail.
otherwise i'll be taking cover under my blanket now.

had a really long day at school today.
screwed chem SPA.
i guess i was too apprehensive.
there was a tsunami raging inside me.
took the maths test w/o flipping through a single page of the notes.
but my days of smoking must come to an end.
maybe tonight will be the day.

im looking forward to ODAC tmr.
yay! we're gonna have games facilitation and i'll finalise the noticeboard design by getting the opinion of other odacians. wahh.
deadline is next monday. add oil worhh!
chewy will be accompanying me to art friend tmr to get the materials.
THANKS lovely! :D will give you more bones tmr! lol. just kidding lah. how about a lick?
den can shun bian drop by puma to see the tote that i've been eyeing! :D
and i can already visualise the scene when my mum throws a chopper at me. :X
haha. but still, thank God it's friday!
can't wait for 31st august!

- in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you. CEDAR is <3

2007-08-14T20:18:00.000+08:00

yay! NEW BLOGSKIN! the purrfect one! wun be changing to another one for a long, long time!

2007-07-08T17:59:00.000+08:00

was reading CIP partner in crime aka milmil's blog.

girl, you couldn't be more right. time does fly - even without wings.

once upon a time, not too long ago, i was but another face in that unfamiliar sea of blue.

but time changed all that.

and fate brought us together.

im proud to call myself a cedar guide, an oriolean (or oreolean).

haha.

twist, lick and dunk + MILK!

i can still rmb the stupid face i gave the snrs when i found out that the patrol i was assigned to was called oriole (oreo at first thought).

and one of our patrol cheers went like this "Oriole, oriole, oriole!"

and for special events like promotion or farewell, that cookie never failed to make its presence.

this is one classic example:

we shld have our very own "hidden oriole" game! like disney channel's hidden mickey. -.-"

okay, i have a deprived childhood yeahh. haha.

anw, the jnrs are like all grown up now.

all taller than me. lol.

but that's really besides the point.

sharon said this to me when i was in sec 1, "Once a guide, always a guide."

I know no matter what, that will stay with me for all eternity.

to the batch of sec 3s`07

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

sec 4s`07: focus and keep driving yourselves ahead!

to ORIOLE PATROL: go get that cookie!

2007-07-08T09:20:00.000+08:00

thank you sining! (:

for everything and everything.

2007-07-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

met yu rong at amk this afternoon.

she was carrying helium balloons from amk pri's open hse. haha. green and blue ones. (:

den she told me that she wanted to go release them.

her words reminded me of what i blogged abt yesterday.

and so we did. it was nice looking at them to soar into the skies. so carefree.
i did think of writing our problems on the balloons before releasing them. but that thought came a second too late. oh well.

fly away

soar into the skies

for that is not the limit

pure nostalgia. yup. that's our flame.

and it's still burning ever so bright. (:

2007-07-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

"im staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain. wishing to go to a place where love is and feeling good won't ever cost a thing."

i want to go home, to the place where i belong. But deep down, i know that that place is no more.

i don't want to lie about how i really feel. seriously, this sucks.

i wish for smiles to find new owners...but the truth is, i gave up on mine a long, long time ago. i remember what sining used to say, "a smile is a curve that sets everything straight." but i suppose things will never really be that straight again. i really miss the cedar spirit. I know i really shouldn't say this, but going back to the school is actually somewhat like returning to an empty shell. i hate that lingering emptiness. i hate the feeling of staring at empty corridors. i miss hugging pillars. cedar's pillars. my pillars of strength.

cedar was the best thing that happened to me - and most of us i daresay. she made feeling blue like the best thing in this world. im blue through and through. (: it's just that this time around, it's the real thing. i thought i was strong...i thought 2 years would breeze past and we would all get on with life...somehow. but then, i came to realise that i've been lingering in the past. i've always been looking back.

"home" is an amazing song and it has been ringing continuously in my head for the past few days. time really flies...faces that were once familiar are now faded; but that's not the way i want things to be. i wish i could hold on to every single friend. imagine standing in an open field, watching balloons being released into the air, one after the other. that's something like graduation. we are the balloons. 4 years of holding on...and then came the letting go. and i recall the message marcus wanted to convey to verena. he said that "at times, the most difficult thing to do in life is not the holding on, but the letting go." 4 years flew by with the blink of an eye...and 4 years later, we knew from the bottom of our hearts that we would have wanted it no other way. cedar's way. (:

2007-07-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

just felt like playing arnd with adobe.
and since i added a blue hand yesterday, i shall complement it by uploading a red one!
haha. i like this one in particular and it's in the shape of a chair in some hotel in malacca :D
and the food was also from there. yum.

lend a helping hand! (:

food for the soul.

2007-07-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

FIRST ODAC session of Term 3! :D

and it couldn't have been more fun.

as usual, i went hysterical once mr chin started to ask us about our present situation.

erhem, or should i say predicament.

we will be receiving our econs paper tmr during lecture.

and i bet the paper will have more crosses than my fingers. ( i mean when i keep my fingers

crossed. look, im no longer making sense.)

at this point in time, i haf one D and E grade.

so i was telling yu rong dat if i got the much "desired" U and S, i would be USED. too bad, keet. your brain has expired. or maybe my brain had expired, just that i was living in denial.

haha. and i made another joke out of getting 2Ds, 1 E and 1 A grade. put them together and you get DEAD. it's no laughing matter...but we still laughed all the same. haha. and when lao pa overheard what i said, he actually commented that those were pretty decent grades coz at least there was one A. haha. if only. but you see, the problem is that im far worse than DEAD. so i shall simply embrace the fact of being USED. i guess it's just a matter of time.

often, i try to laugh things off.

but seriously, who am i trying to kid?

haha. i'll probably laugh my way into my grave.

for the worst.

2007-07-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

GP Holiday Assignment - Blog

Singer believes that freedom of expression is essential to any democracy and therefore should not be limited. On the other hand, Szilagyi believes that more focus should be placed on social responsibility.

In the context of Singapore’s multi-racial society, where there is cultural and religious pluralism, which author’s view do you think should be adopted?

Singapore has come a long way since attaining nationhood in 1965, and it is common knowledge to all that the 1960s racial outbursts were one of the greatest obstacles we encountered in our struggle for independence. To prevent a future repeat of such events, it is a must for every Singaporean to practice sensitivity and discretion in what we write, say and do. Thus, even though, freedom of expression is highly encouraged by the government and education system, there are still laws present to enforce a certain level of restriction to this model.

In his article, Professor Singer brings in the point about every human being’s right to freedom of expression, that is, “to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference from public authority and regardless of frontiers”. What would everyday life be like if local society was based on the model of freedom of expression? Personally, I feel that it would be like reliving the dark days of racial and religious discord. We would speak our minds with less regard for the repercussions as compared to when we would have had in actual context.

I feel that Mr. Szilagyi’s view on social responsibility would be more applicable in the context of a multi-racial and religious society like Singapore. We need to understand that in order for our society to function efficiently, a certain level of social order has to be maintained. With free expression, it is without a doubt, that certain bold and outrageous ideas can be expressed with greater ease. Human progress can be made as a result of this freedom. However, we must also not forget the long term implications involved in the implementation of this free speech policy. Social unrest is one such example and arises when racial feelings are played up during the delivery of insensitive and discriminatory statements or speeches. This price might prove to be too heavy for Singapore to pay because we have to bear in mind that our population is our only resource. In the absence of social order, who would be left to drive our economy?

Instead, by focusing on social responsibility, the collective interests of society would be protected and people can then concentrate on the generation of new ideas to boost our country’s growth and progress. The media can be highly-manipulative and often, it either fails to disseminate accurate information or does so in an offensive and insensitive manner, i.e. the Danish journalist who made his point about self-censorship and press freedom through the publication of provocative cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad. The media can claim to be the watchdog of democracy, but who would be the one to hold it to task when things go awry? Hence, instead of going ahead with the adoption of the free expression policy and giving the media more excuses to misuse its power, I advocate that the government should restrain press freedom. This way, there would be a limit to what the media can make claims for and materials of provocative natures would not be subjected to different interpretations as their circulation is now prohibited.

2007-07-03T16:43:00.000+08:00

Home - Chris Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.
So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.B
e careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

2007-07-03T16:02:00.000+08:00

i suppose today is kind of the official start of term 3.
gosh. and i got back my bio and chinese papers.
i guess my light will be non-existent for now.
i became hysterical when i realised how badly i had fared for chinese.
yeahh, you know what people say...laugh away your sorrows.
i laughed.
but to no avail.
and now there's this feeling of regret lingering within me.
i guess i knew i was going to fail at that instant i chose my essay question.
but i chose to continue anyway.
writing that essay was somewhat like sticking one leg inside a coffin.
fyi, i was the only person in class who attempted the teng ye xian sheng question.
with no personal experience to relate to, i suppose i was headed on a journey of no return.
i dun think i can take any more blows. though i know i'll probably get one right in the face.
mr chin is gonna talk to us about our results during odac tmr.
hmm. and im in a very precarious situation.
but i'll take things as they come.
this is going to be one hard fall
and one good lesson learnt.

2007-06-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

June 29: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! <3
i know i've disappointed you many a times
but no matter what, i'll try my best to make a positive change.
to make you proud
and pick up the pieces that once held the old me together.
to start, i hope i can get a B for G.P.
and as dumb as this sounds,
i really couldn't differentiate the usage of "wake" and "funeral"
but it's better late than never, right?
im still learning.

let's enjoy our happiness while it lasts.
haha. good things are short-lived.
midyear common tests were screwed.
and i realised that i can be really blind.
i was still wondering why none of the options in the second part of the chem MCQ made sense. so at the last minute, i decided to shade the lozenge wif the most ironic answer (based on the qn about 2 hyrdogen nuclides) - 2) they have different charges and 3) they deflect in the same direction in the plasma.
so after the papers were collected, i continued to stare at that question and i finally saw the light. it was 2He and 3H and not 2H and 3H. -.-"
but the past shouldn't be raked up. instead, let's all rake up a PASS. ahh.
and it's way easier said than done.
JIAYOU!!!

2007-06-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

ok just in case u wanna know how's my mugging coming along, i just wanna say it's official. im cremated and that's that.
gosh. i dun even know the fundamentals of economics. like how screwd am i?
haha. pok's in the same boat as me. haha. and we are probably gonna make history as the second titanic to go down. and man, does pessimism have a new name. not forgetting failure as well.
today was...how i should i phrase it. Eventful? Yeah. Things happened...unexpected things.
Met up with some of the ex guides at somerset then we headed down to 'scape park to render support for the guides and their booth. after hanging around for a while, we went down to cine for lunch. tasted the worst of chendo and ice-kachang but that's not the point. haha. i guess it's my face or something. yeah, it's definitely my face and the quirky expression i always give people. first i showed that to marcus when the bunch of us unexpectedly bumped into him, his bro and quincy at the food court. now there's alternative use for botox, for me at least. -.-"

and i cut my hair twice - in a matter of 2 days. yeah, and any sane person would probably be wondering...are you like bald now or something? haha. ok. just wanted to spot a different hairstyle (if you call that one) for a change. maybe when sch re-opens, people will ask...so now you're a mushroom with a stalk. haha. just call me a tomato. suits the face shape, plus, the "stalk". and maybe because of that "stalk", I go stalked. ok. yeah, that fellow's blind. if i had tried to be funny, i would have asked him, where did your eyes go man? but anyway, that's not the point coz he had me freaked. real bad. initially i was still happily listening to my mp3 and of course, wondering why that bugger behind me was always keeping such a not-so-close distance behind. yeah, but the pavement's common property right? so i didn think too much about it (especially because people always say i think too much. i.e. econs - under and overproduction. but let's not rub that in for now.) haha. but i was thinking whether to pick up or slow down pace. but that wouldn't have made much of a diff. coz he caught up with me eventually - on the overhead bridge. and freak that guy, coz he cast me this really sick smile. and i was like HUH and i gave him that face. the same face i gave ms chong (and she grounded me for drills), marcus and then to him. and for the first time in my life (other than for odac expeditions), i walked till my legs nearly broke. freak that guy. and i was damn happy when i finally lost him! YAY! -.-"

some day.
oh well. add oil add oil!
haha. this applies to everyone else other than me.
coz mine isnt just the case of an empty tank.
let's see.
i have punctured tires, faulty brakes
and yeah, the list goes on.
maths is my first, last and only hope.
and guess what.
if i dun get those formulas into my thick head by wed,
all hope will be lost
and yeah, R.I.P.
cheeros.
life cant get any better than this.

2007-06-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

just finished watching mean girls.
and man do i feel like them.
im even beginning to talk like them.
on msn i mean. haha. and marcus had to kept asking me to chill.
what has gone over me?
oh well. but for ever plus, there's always a minus.
i guess there are some points to pick up from this movie.
other then "im voting for regina georgia because she got run over by a bus" or "im voting for cady coz she pushed her."
this part is nice.
"miss carolyn craft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. her outfit looked like it was picked out by some blind sunday school teacher...and that's when i realised that making fun of carolyn craft wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest...calling someone else fat wouldn't make you any skinnier. calling someone stupid would't make you smarter. and ruining regina georgia's life didn't make me any happier. all you can do in life is to try and solve the problem in front of you."
i guess i felt more like myself after hearing her say that. i know that at times, my silence can cause worry to the people around me. i guess they're just too used to seeing me acting hyper and looney. haha. i'll be back. but before that, i ought to do what i ought to do. need to do loads of self-reflection. need to train. need to find purpose. need to find my guiding light.

2007-06-14T16:58:00.000+08:00

FINALLY created the pw survey on lance armstrong.
this morning, i abruptly realised that we only haf 15 more days to the DEADLINE.
minus 1 week of common test. that leaves us with about one week or so.
... ...now to see how horrible a death i will die. dunno why i remind SOME people (animal) of basketball. haha. even if i do, shouldn't it be of a deflated one? no brains jiu shi no brains.

i am officially broke. never been any worse off than this. i guess i have gone way out of control. everyone's angry with me. and they have every right to be. my (academic) life's a mess. my room's in a bigger one. i can no longer sleep or shop my troubles away. coz the repercussions will be extremely dire. we all know that. so let me just summarize my list of DIE DIE ALSO MUST DO things. here goes:
1) lose 100 grams or more so as to get out of TAF by term 3 week 2.
2) stop slacking and get going.
3) kill homework and not time.
4) MUG like there's no tomorrow.
5) slaughter some gorilla* (so the world will be a better place)
wish me luck. haha.

2007-06-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

I FINISHED MY CHINESE HW!
this is a miracle.
and it's exactly one month overdued.
must give special mention to zhiyan.
thanks for putting up with my horrendous chinese.
really appreciate ur guidance! (: muacks. dun puke ok?
I OWE U BIG TIME!
met a grp of j2s (HEN HEN inclusive) and HUAG at amk library.
and we were all gathered there for the same purpose - mugging.
haha. the chance encounter wif huag was kinda funny.
met her on my down to the loo.
i called out to her and when she saw me, she just plopped on the steps.
haha. loss for words. that's how small singapore is.
anyway, it was great seeing her again! GOOD OLD HUAG! :D
and we might be doing nyaa gold together. YAY! more chances to meet each other! ((: den we can relive the good old days!
haha. and now let's talk about HEN HEN!
zhiyan and her rabies. she bit my darling! and my darling wiped her hand on my shirt. haha. but anything for HEN HEN! ((:
she actually asked me for a hug! *faints*
i was over the moon! haha.
ZHIYAN!! jealous or not? lol.
and later when we were at amk hub, we met our prospective mother-in-law. okay. revealed too much info liao. hen hen will faint if she sees this. haha.
but at the end of the day, we can all arrive at one conclusion - all of us are SHOPAHOLICS!
im still the same old sucker for shopping.
zhiyan found her off shoulder and considered the purchase a steal. not too bad a buy for 18 bucks. haha. she wanted to swop the white one she bought initially for a pink one. which she did. but den we realised that it was damn translucent. so we went back to the shop to have it changed back to the original. -.-"
then we left the shop and were greeted by the sight of this lady in the same off-shoulder - in pink! -.-"
so we've all embarked on our journey as full fledged muggers.
im beginning to miss camp.
and not bathing.
and the RIVER WATER! (:
and how primitive we were.
haha.
ODAC is <3

when the skies were bluer.
i guess we were that much happier.

2007-06-11T22:57:00.000+08:00

shall take this time to let off some steam.
im in dire straits. (thou you always catch me saying this, but this time around, it's for REAL!)
i'll be toast if i dun take action.
action against myself.
i take my hat off to geena.
i need to be driven by the driven.
and i will be from this point onwards.
in time to come, i hope to be part of this league.
i don't want to consider an alternative career option, i.e., working as a toilet cleaner at the zoo and getting closer to a particular specie of GORILLA.
as i was saying, i see no light at the end of the tunnel.
i don't see myself anywhere 2 years from now.
and that's bad news.
but we all know where our final destination lies.
but instead of moving forward, i'm doing so otherwise.
pretty bleak don't you think?
that's my current path of self destruction.
wake up cheong keet!
don't allow your dreams to remain as they are!
make them reality!
make them a part of your life.
TAKE CONTROL! EMPOWER!
CHIONG AH!
CONQUER THIS MOUNTAIN OF HOMEWORK!
AND ADD A NUMBER 4 TO YOUR LIST OF CONQUERED PEAKS!

2007-06-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

give me a reason to continue believing.
to believe that true friendships will be able to weather any kind of storm.
to believe that true friends walk in when the whole world walks out.
how did it come to this?
change came into the picture.
but compromise never left the scene.
we can reach that.
all we need is one chance.
don't stop believing.
it's all about trust, really.
one forward thrust.
a leap of faith.
don't let 3 years of friendship slip away like that.
it's supposed to be as strong as the cedar tree.
don't you forget that.
because we didn't. and we will never come to.
and i trust that you have always stuck by that.

as we go on
we remember
all the times we've had together
as our lives change
come whatever
we will still be
friends forever

don't forget.

2007-06-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

BON VOYAGE nigel and marcus! enjoy ur trips! (:
and BON VOYAGE to yu rong, marion, pearlyn, sining, shi han and myself.
haha. so we'll be out of civilisation once more. CAMP CHRISTINE! ((:
if only i could be granted permanent residency there. then i wun haf to come back anymore. no more homework. tests and exams...
FAT HOPE.
ahh. kuan teck told me dat i broke the record for bio! got 1/20 for the ct.
i expected that.
and i've been warned of the dire consequences.
better start bucking up.
otherwise im toast.
JUNE TRIP WAS AWESOME!!
we sure got to know each other a whole lot better.
like how disgusting we can get. (shallnt elaborate on that point. lol. but that was our liberation!)
it was damn shiok!!
haha.
and im certain there'll be a repeat of such events in e future. definitely! with chew zhiyan and me arnd! lol!
and we had a super leechy time!!
damn bloody.
what goes around comes around!
SOMEONE had karma.
kena sucked by 8 leeches at one shot (twice at the same spot)
WELL DONE ah! :D
basically, all of us got bitten at every part imaginable. u do the imagining urself. :X
shall stop here for now.
im dead beat.
shall leave things hanging in e air for once.
haha.
<3 my new blogskin
let's hope that promises will be kept
and smiles will find themselves new owners.
that's one thing i want
and probably the one thing you can give to me.

it's just good night and not goodbye.

2007-05-31T22:09:00.000+08:00

feeling rather jittery at the moment. ahh. im scared.
wonder how the june trip will turn out to be like.
oh well. today was bad enough.
saw the really ugly side of singaporeans - my queue got cut twice and under both circumstances, neither party showed any sign of remorse. tsk.
later at lunch at amk hub, i got shoved out of the way by this woman. she could have just uttered an "excuse me" and i would have gladly budged. however, she went on to push me at the waist (not that i have one, but it was around there. lol.) and at my arm the second time around. rahh.
im dead beat.
i walked home from my aunt's place and was greeted by a not so friendly sight on the route back. initially, i dismissed the bloody trail as paint spillage, but as i advanced further, i realised that the situation wasn't as simple as it appeared to be. it turned out to be a trail of blood. from whom i do not know. and i dun exactly wish to gain knowledge abt it. :X
shall look at the brighter side of things for now. haha. this expedition will definitely be an eye opener and i hope i can get a solid tan from this trip. :D

GOOD NIGHT! see you in 6 days' time.

2007-05-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

new skin!
even zhiyan said that it was a job well done! (thou she probably meant the inverse. im not dumb ok?)
3 more days to the June trip! i really hope i can come home in one piece! hope i wouldn't be affected by monthly woes. otherwise, i'd probably be the only one. yesh. all alone. ok. too much revealed. ahh. shalln't think abt it anymore. and i must continue to maintain the 100m boundary from dawn and katherine. sorry ah darlings. im desperate. but we can still watch the stars from the summit (:
congrats to miss japan! asia' pride! (:
still need to go pack my stuff for the trip later.
den it's time to clear all outstanding homework.
BY THURSDAY! if not i will never hand them in.
then we'll all get to enjoy soup. a very hot and fattening pot.

watch out ppl! esp those who will be sharing the same tent as HER.

in the meantime, i shall continue my game of hide and seek wif my dear GHIMMY. (: promised her sweet revenge. hurhur. hope i don't become too much of a monster when i unbuckle...

and this will be the look on our faces after we eliminate HER. hurhur.

then we can dump HER body inside one of these insectivorous pitcher plants. and so we lived HAPPILY ever after. and the world became a much better place.

2007-04-22T19:43:00.000+08:00

GP blog entry 2
Title of article: 8 kids die imitating Saddam's execution
link: http://www.todayonline.com/articles/164930.asp

A series of copycat hangings have followed shortly after the surfacing of a second video about the execution of former Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein, on the Internet. The footage of the hanging was shot by a mobile phone camera and witnessed by the eight young victims.

I feel that the execution of the former dictator is a highly controversial issue that should not be taken lightly. The person who was responsible for the uploading of the execution video obviously had little regard for the repercussions of his actions. These days, censorship rules are getting increasingly lax and almost anyone can gain access to such online sources.

The younger generation is vulnerable and extremely impressionable. They are not exposed to the bigger picture because what stands between these children and the plain truth is often, an over-protective parent. Parents see it as a duty to protect their children from the negativity of society, but looking at matters from a different angle, some of us might find that this is actually doing children a disservice. This is because by avoiding discussion about topics pertaining to violence or events of a similar nature, parents are depriving their children of answers - answers to pressing questions with regard to events that have resulted in severe loss of lives or societal breakdowns. When a child’s curiosity is not satisfied, he or she will resort to other means to get that one desired answer. And somehow, they stumble across visual sources that show them another side of the story. Being impressionable, they would thereafter possess a tendency to mimic what they had previously seen. The consequences that follow are usually dire.

I am able to arrive at two conclusions from the above mentioned. Firstly, policies should be implemented to ensure stricter regulation of censorship. Videos containing footage of Saddam Hussein’s execution should never have surfaced on the World Wide Web as such an event is controversial and has raised great tension within certain communities. What can we gain from viewing footage about the process of a person’s death? If the answer is satisfaction, then I reckon that the person is really no different from the former dictator who had caused the deaths of so many innocent civilians.

Pertaining to the issue of over-protective parents, I feel that it is necessary to take a different approach the next time a child asks his or her parent a question like “Why is the man hanging in the air?” Instead of avoiding the topic entirely, I feel that the parent should sit the child down and explain the situation to him or her carefully. This way, the child can better understand the situation and be more well-informed. This would satisfy their curiosity and prevent them from probing further and end up getting exposed to undesirable sources.

After all, prevention is better than cure. Similar tragedies can be prevented if parents take the correct approach in educating their young about many things. So next time when a child asks you a question like "Mummy, why is the man holding a knife at its throat?", answer truthfully and show him the bigger picture. It wouldn't hurt to know more, but on the contrary, you never know what can happen when you are not as well-informed.

2007-03-30T19:57:00.000+08:00

Announcements for the week:
HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEn to samrina (25 march)
HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN to han wei (26 march)
HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN to my partner in CIP
crime mildred (27 march)
HAPPY SOUR FIFTEEN to my pesky bro (29 march)
yay! confetti~ balloons~

It couldn't have been a more hectic week. And like what mrs lim always says, "Thank God it's friday!" I couldn't have been more thankful. Thank you 15/07 for giving me such a pleasant birthday surprise (though the cover was blown when elaine first asked me about my cake preference as she needed to buy a cake for 'someone'). It brings back memories about how Miss Pok passed me her present last year in a plastic bag together with some serviettes. And Yu Xin actually came up to me and asked whether I was going to the canteen to join the class to celebrate 'someone's' birthday. It was pretty amusing, and it made me realise that I could play along no more. You should have seen the look on her face - utter shock. (And I am really tempted to use haha or lol at this point. :X self-discipline! press on, cheong keet!) But we had fun all the same, though it was kind of irritating when junyang dabbed pink cream on my nose. And being the kind who would "pass it on", i simply rubbed some of it on marion's face. At the end of the break, there were several baboons running around aj. And the leader happened to be known as Kelvin.

2007-03-25T22:08:00.001+08:00

GP assignment 1 - Self Introduction

My name would probably be the one thing that people around me find most difficult to remember. Overtime, I came to be known as "Keet" around my circle of secondary school friends. It has been 4 years ever since, just like how the saying "time seems to pass more quickly when one is happy" goes. I wouldn't deny the fact that I entered the gates of AJC with great reluctance during the first day of school. Taking my first step in only made me feel like taking two more steps backwards. Fortunately, I had several close friends by my side and being in this boat seemed slightly better. But being a perfectionist by nature, I still felt drawn to the greener pastures. I thought constantly about being in the top 5 junior colleges and I pondered no less about how my life would have taken a different note had i been as fortunate as to be in VJC. Taking a walk down memory lane would show you how badly I wanted to be part of their family. I was practically 'living, breathing and speaking VJC". And at this point, I'm still drawn to that thought that has since ceased to become part of reality (fortunately or unfortunately, I still do not know and probably will not come to know). I'm grateful to a friend for telling me to make lemonade when given lemons (though i pine for cranberry juice). My world came to be that much brighter when she told me that. All I had to do was to give this JC a chance and that was all i needed to do to be happy. So I tried and gained a broader perspective. For the first time, I felt truly me. I was happy.

I want everyone to get to know the happier me. After all, a smile is a curve that sets everything straight. And I see it as a goal to brighten up another person's day (at least from now on, for I have seen too many crestfallen faces). So here goes:

I am known as Keet in many circles (but with the exception of Kit in Kelvin's circle and Kid in Fiona and Jing Xiu's circle). Otherwise, it's Cheong Keet Yeng (pronounced as "kit y-eng") on assignments, forms and my birth certificate. Many people remember me as the loud, talkative and violent girl from Cedar. It's not that I can help it but Cedar's culture happens to be somewhat like that. Hitting each other isn't considered to be violent; it's just our way of being friendly or reacting to a "lame" remark. My former CCA is Girl Guides and I was recently inducted as a Young Adult because I want to experience guiding at a whole new level. I hope to become a member of AJC's Outdoor Adventure Club as it offers a wide range of ruggard activities of which I possessed an immense interest for. I've just returned from its Selection Camp and I am currently waiting for good news (trying very hard to be positive though I am not). I also happen to enjoy kayaking, cycling and trekking. I hope to participate in such activities on a more frequent scale.

I have big dreams for the future, such as attaining an A grade for GP and entering NUS if not better. I understand that academics play a crucial role in shaping JC life (just like how it continues to be for primary and secondary education), and I plan to neglect no part of it whilst being involved in my future CCA and other activities. I also seek to improve my present lifestyle and make it balanced, i.e., adopt an exercise regime for I have always been on the heavier side and being in a physically-demanding CCA like ODAC will not be advantageous on my part. Lastly, I hope to be able to take up H3 Mathematics as it has always been my field of interest.

This is what I have to share for now. The journey has just begun and at the end of 2 years, I really hope to be able to tell myself that I love the school and would have wanted it no other way. Just like how I loathed being in Cedar initially and how much I grew to love her.

2007-03-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

ok. my bro's chicken just got slained. i mean in dota. and im just feeling particularly random. haha. now i know why i hear chicken clucks in the dead of the night.

attended the YA induction ceremony at Guide HQ this morning with man-on, chan yu and chio bu bu. over 60 odd guides turned up. and amidst them all, i managed to spot a few familiar faces. or should i say names and schools. yeahh. saw ver's hci friends (2 of them are presently in the YA council). the session was insightful. and a few of us are planning to render assistance to Northlight sec sch as they are planning to set up a guides company there. [:

after the induction ceremony, we headed back to j8 for lunch. ate at long john's and everything was fine until someone asked for the empty table next to ours. we shifted in and everything was under control until MARION suddenly pulled away the table that she and i shared. the next thing i knew was that my MEDIUM sprite had toppled! good job, marion. we have chemistry. lol. and super marion saved the day as she was well-equipped with tissue! heng ah. lol. so maluating. and that scene reminded us of wad happened over at MOS the other time round when i spilt chilli on my shorts. she accompanied me to the toilet out of kindness and i ended up spilling the hand soap on her. LOL. oh well. i guess wad goes arnd comes arnd. we can finally call it quits marion! ((:

after lunch we went to mini toons to scour for someone's bdae present! those 3 went berserk and started doing the aj rap using the sesame street puppets. -.-" it was great knowing them. lol. and the salesgirls couldn't help but stare. it was quite an amusing sight. oh well. hurhur. AJ rap rocks! :D

then i said byebye to those three and headed down to LAM YONG darling's house! my dear candice!! it was great seeing her again! ((: we did wad we were supposed to do. and talked lots of cock. haha. then we became narcissistic and started taking photos. :X and someone couldn't stop admiring her own beauty. haha. i woonder why the camera lens didn crack. lol.

i miss us!
haha. maybe i can drag lam to wisma tmr to see her erhem. lol.

2007-03-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

some good news at long last. congrats to geena and candice for getting into rj. and ger, siew hwee, pandora, jolene, etc for getting into vj. happier cedarians. happier me. haha. [:
was supposed to meet up with wan yin, ger, sally and ghost to catch an afternoon movie. but i dozed off and only managed to check my phone at 4 plus. great. as usual. a leopard never changes it spots. so i spent the day watching my girl instead. haha.

I had a hell of a time in O2! so damn fun! haha. strepsil sales must haf hit an all time high! we were practically trading lozenges of diff flavs. got menthol, honey lemon, etc. and everyone we couldn't stop screaming and cheering!! love the fellow OGFs to bits. jaclyn, zhiyan, lek wen, wan xin, qiu rong, melissa, shermaine, wendy, wenjie, joanne, shurlene, angeline, yiming, hsien yong, darren, kar mun, kevin, hui min, wei tian, candy icebaby, mingzhu!!! JAGUARIA rocks!!! no wonder we got first. haha. yay!! WE WERE GREAT!! [:

Jaguaria, huat lah!
Jaguaria, huat lah!
Jaguaria, Jaguaria, Jaguaria!
Huat lah, huat lah, huat lah!

2007-03-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

until you hear their stories.

then will u understand their anguish.

and the reason behind why tears constantly bombard their eyes.

the truth always hurts somehow.

i gaped at the number of cedarians who walked through the gates of aj today. never in my wildest dreams had i expect the turnover to be so big. elsewhere, others were crying, sharing similar sentiments. and i thot abt wad candice said...abt how life will nvr be the same again no matter where she ends up. and i think abt marion and her tj soccer. and all the big dreams we had for our future when we were still immersed in the sea of blue. all that. snap. gone. in the blink of an eye.

we know that we shld stay strong and unwavered by such odds. but reality has this tendency to slam us in the face. and what's left is often the pieces that are too small to be picked up. but there are always people who have been there and done that. so no matter what, we should stand our ground and be as ever-sturdy as the cedar tree. one swallow does not make a summer.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: sometimes, the most courageous thing to do in life. is not the holding on, but the letting go
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: if she thought what she had with hc for a mere 2 months was a strong bond

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: tell her to find me, and we'll talk about bonds with AC for 10 + years

and though the grass is often thought to be that much lusher and greener on the other side, i guess we ought to take a backward glance and appreciate what we have a little more. otherwise, the pursuit for greener pastures would be endless. let us press on and walk this path together.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: and u should ask her. did she ever regret cedar

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: cause she didnt
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. says: at the end of tjc, she'll tell herself, there's no other way she would have wanted it

and perhaps there would have been no other way we would have wanted ours. a chance is all that we need to give. then perhaps the sky would be this much bluer.

thank you cedar.

2007-02-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

FINALLY. i've arrived at a decision. no one can blame me for not trying for tj. though it's my second choice. oh well. what can u do when the odds are against you? i don't want to look back 10 years from now and regret. after all, the results ultimately do most of the talking. as in this case. haha. and happy valentine's day to all the couples out there! haha. and old maids like me spend time by the window sill watching the crows fly past. haha. i know verena tan would be more than glad to join me in this once in a year "bird-watching" event. and i'll definitely sustain this practice for the next 50 years or so. hurhur. anyone keen to sign up for lifelong membership?

and chinese project is still untouched. mati. left 1 more day. aj has been far too generous with the jae break. haha. though i'll be more than happy to haf permanent leave. today's shopping trip was fruitful. at least for geena. wahh. seriously, the girl sure noes how to shop till she drops. zara, puma, adidas, forever 21, precious thots. haha. shopping works wonders. i bought a black skirt from pull and bear. sure get nagged at when i wear it during cny. den later i get bad luck for the rest of `07 and i haf no one to blame for it. tsk. but im not the superstitious sort. so i shall pretend dat everything is fine. ((: unless the sky crumbles down on me. we'll see. we'll see.

and thank you ver for teaching me how to make the flowers. i shall reward you wif my fantabulous cookies. i wun add salt this time round. but i cannot guarantee the final outcome. it might just be a little too sweet for salty people like you. wahaha.

2007-02-12T21:46:00.000+08:00

met up with wan yin today and accompanied her to aj to inquire abt the jae admission criteria. but mr goh told her that the cut-off could only be determined after jae. so for now, we can only cross our fingers and hope for the best. anyway, he told her that he was 90% sure that she could make it in with 9 nett. i certainly hope so. it would be nice having pok around once more. hurhur. 1 more person for me to torture.

and i wanna thank wanyin's parents for treating me to a scrumptious breakfast at kiliney kopitiam. haha. had soya bean milk and mee siam. shiok! haha. den wanyin's dad dropped us off at taka for shopping. and i must apologise to pokky coz the shopping trip was possible only at the expense of her facial session. sorry!!! and thanks a million for accompanying me. i had the intention of purchasing the blue striped top from pull and bear initially, but i decided not to eventually as the price seemed rather steep for a top made from such material. moreover, it was the final piece. oh well. maybe next time. im sure i'll be able to find something better.

it has been 3 days since the release of the O'level results. im getting by somehow. though im still caught in the middle. cant decide as to whether i shld put tj or aj as first choice. though im well aware of my chances of ever getting admitted to tj. why live a lie right? but im tempted to try. and i know this isn't wad a sane person wld call a calculated risk. but still. haix. HOW??? boos. someone, pls enlighten me. and verena, good lah. at least ur hci ceo was able to give u some really good advice pertaining to ur jae choice. hmmm. but even mdm faridah feels dat it's better for me to stay put. aiyoo. shall roll the dice later. or flip a coin. or wait for some signs. and as the options lay before me, i know that there is one that obviously stands out from the rest. dun kid keet. the truth is often just a stone's throw away. and you know that it is no longer an issue about how far you can see; it's whether you want to see it.

2007-02-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

gosh. i got my 2-star certification. thank you to all who haf pushed me along the way. especially pearlyn, marion, yu rong and sining. man, what would i do w/o you guys. and thank you stanley for allowing me to pass the test even though i screwd the skills and the eskimo bow rescue. i know i still haf a long, long way to go. oh well. hopefully, i can still stay in odac and re-take my 2-star if possible. i really need to overcome my hydrophobia.

and im super scorched now. had dinner with yu rong, kelvin and daniel at the hawker centre at beach road. i know we were seriously starved...but i never expected the extent of hunger for kelvin to be so tremendous. he bought mee sua, chicken chop, tang yuan and sugar cane juice. he also helped finish up yu rong's fries. to top things off, he still has beehoon at home for supper. pro. and he's so skinny. i feel so microscopic. haha. and the drink stall auntie was studying him all that while. she gave him a free cup of iced water because she noticed dat his face was very scorched. what about us?? haha. not bad ah, auntie killer. lol.

yupp. so i'll probably be staying on in aj. this first 1 month has indeed been an eye-opener. i've grown attached to the class and odac. though im a litle disappointed with my results, i guess there's only this much i can do at this juncture. to pick up the pieces and move on. yupp. and even though making it to vj will forever remain a dream, i guess it isn't so bad after all. there's still a long, long way to go. and the difference is that im taking a different path. for it is not the end to journey towards that matters. it is the journey itself. and i thank those who haf helped me get through the first half of it.

it's just good night
and not goodbye.

2007-02-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

well. all hell has indeed broken loose. im at a loss for words and do not know where to begin. hm, im neither happy nor sad with my results. for this amt of effort put in, i guess i am in no position to contemplate. but english was a serious letdown. i thought i could at least manage an A2. but that was not meant to be. but i wun fret. i will make it a point to put in more effort for GP. hopefully, history will not repeat itself in 2 years' time.

let us all pick up the pieces and move on. it's pointless brooding over the past. there's nth much we can do now but to make the best out of what we have. it's not the end. in fact, it's only the start of a new beginning. let the lessons of today be our source of guidance for a better tomorrow. jiayou, everyone!

today seriously stinks. can u believe it? i actually misplaced my result slip and form A? now how am i supposed to register for jae? haix. im such a goondu. didn even realise it until 8 plus at toa payoh interchange. oh well. so i called mdm faridah for SOS! had a really good talk wif her over the results. i feel really bad for attaining such a grade and disappointing her. hmm. sim choon hoon vs sim wong hoo. the marker must haf either been greatly appalled or horrendously bemused. and she heard abt ver going hysterical as well. hm, cheer up tan! i noe my words wun help much. but all has been sealed. so make the best out of things now k? dun cry anymore. we'll find a way out no matter what.

hm, so we're off to moe hq tmr morning to "celebrate". haix. nvm. shall go shopping soon to relieve all e previosly bottled up stress! yesh. a new beginning. here i come.

2007-02-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

less then 24 hours to the moment of truth!

people, chill! we are all in the same boat! so carmen! please put an end to the binging and mp3 blasting! you arent the only one suffering from post results depression. ahh. and some wise words from a certain wise person: no matter what happens, we gotto pick up the pieces and move on! for once, im not gonna mention the 3-letter word dat starts with d. i am a survivor! i will pull through this. we all will!

looking back, it has indeed been a memorable one mth in aj. i can still rmb how much i fretted and grumbled when i first walked through her doors. im sorry for not giving this sch a chance. but the people really showed me her true worth and how fun life in aj can be if you set ur mind on participating. i really hated myself for being so stereotypical initially. it's like what nessie said. the people and the school can embrace ur presence with open arms. but would you return the gesture? definitely. but would the results permit me to? i hope so. 15/07 couldnt haf been a more wonderful class. great people with even greater personalities! though vast the world may be, im sure our paths will cross once more. ((: jiayou everyone!

sinyi
kaitian ah siao
geena 8 pack
noeleen
jasmine
candy
sok yin the bhb
yu xin nu er
munirah
josephine
lirong
fiona stinko
elaine
junyang
terry bear
zhen yang st nics
kelvin cockroach
han wei ba gua
lek wen
hwee sheng
jianrong
kuan teck
vishal
edwin

<3 15`07

2007-02-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

1 more day before all hell breaks loose!!

i can feel the anxiety builidng up with each passing day. it's madness. ahh!! odac was fun as usual! we played games and did bouldering. and i found that "17%" fats guy aka as weijie!!! but apparently, the fact was twisted slightly and he turns out to haf only 15.9% body fats! why must he make me feel so microscopic? lol. haha. i haf a long, long way to go. unlike someone. how can you possibly be complaining abt ur fat percentage arnd ppl like me?!?! qian bian!

and im so gonna die. there's still one trunk load full of homework awaiting completion. and i just reached home not too long ago. it was a very impromptu dinner. hah. shld haf brought chem along to do. oh man. what's becoming of me?! hah. aiyo. im bound to suffer from a lack of snooze as usual. and there's chinese. die. how to finish?! somebody, save me!

and marion ah! didn want to dao you de. dun be so pessimistic ok? it's not the end of the road. in fact, it's just about the beginning. for all of us. u r not simply going to walk out on us after 4 yrs of friendSAMPAN right? we've braved so many storms. don't let this drizzle weigh you down. don't stop being yourself. i know that the psycho is in there somewhere! scream, cheer, groove! you don't haf to prove anything to anyone. just be answerable to yourself! at least you gave it a good shot! and for that, you ought to be proud. don't let us down. the blue people will always be behind you! all the way! don't give up on us; for we'll never give up on you! ((:

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?

2007-02-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

4 MORE DAYS to the moment of TRUTH!!!!!! :/

big news. big news. oh man. this is the final moment. the last stand.
shall be well-equipped wif barrels and lots of tissue. any sponsers?
it'll be nice to see all my darlings again. haha. but coincidentally, i met them at J8 today!!!
huag and candice!! and i must apologise to KEL and sok yin coz i kinda pangsehed them. sorry! paiseh! needed to go buy someone's bdae present. haha. hope she'll like it. no, she will LOVE it. right now, i need to brace myself for what's ahead. no matter what happens, i ought to pick up the pieces and move on. yeahh. and i will be strong! ((:

haha. and the stupid plant cell is finally completed. $18 vacuole and 60 cents organelles. what the. sounds so wrong. hah. but im sure that our grp's vacuole will be the last one standing. haha. at least there will be no bacteria or maggot infestation. lol. and geena was saying that ppl in the library couldnt keep their hands off our models. haha. well, i know our models are gorgeous. haha. thank you! lol. scully half the vacuole is gone when we go check on the plant cell tmr. lol. so nice to touch. :D

the end of the end can be found at the end of the end.
the end nears.
a faint, faltering silence...

2007-02-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

bio is driving me nuts. today, we managed to mould out 6 chloroplasts, 3 mitochondria, 1 big fat nucleus (which seems to bear an uncanny resemblance to a mooncake), golgi body aka zheng yang's masterpiece and rough er. siao. and we kept talking abt ba gua and han wei. lol. now, this is going to be one very expensive plant cell. we chalked up 50 plus bucks worth of purchases. for e.g., dear han wei bought 6 cubes of oven-baked clay ($4+++ each) instead of plasticine (60 cents each)! and now, he has to pay the ultimate price! haha. but often, things are more den what they actually seem. and for now, with rising bag gua indexes, han wei shld make full use of the opportunity! lol! haha. but of course, im no better off being a pork chop. anw, i want to thank both zhen yang and han wei for accompanying me to try on the shorts from U2 and OP. haha. shopping seems to rank second after sleeping on my list of slacking activities. kayaking is tmr! die, die, die! die also must stay calm and keep my cool! i think im more likely to die from paranoia den from drowning. and i'll replenish my share of blue-blacks as usual. crap. just as i am abt to recover...tsk tsk.

there's still a trunk load full of hw awaiting completion. how am i ever going to start, less mentioning finish. and here i am wasting time on blogging and chatting. haha. a zebra nvr changes it stripes. well, i guess i'll stop here. let's see whether will i return as a dead fish or a charred one tmr evening. either or, i'll probably be as tired as ever. and suddenly, i yearn for the release of results so that i can finally take a break. the truth always hurts somehow. yet ironcally, that also happens to be the only way in which people learn best. good night! ((:

a smile is a curve that sets everything straight
a kayak is a boat that steers one in the right direction
kallang river is the water body that brings blue into my black and white life.
and now, we know the origins of blue-blacks.

2007-02-03T00:41:00.000+08:00

my hands were too itchy. cldn't resist the temptation of changing blogskins again. and im so in love with this particular one about fairytales! my break from reality.

today was yet another long day. 15`07 went bersek as usual. sok yin and candy became students of cath high. fiona wore marist uniform. junyang wore his brother's anderson uniform and han wei wore a torn pe t-shirt. -.-" haha. and as for the real girls - geena wore st. marg's polka dotted dress with the cute clip on tie, yu xin wore cedar u, nolene wore bbss, and the list goes on. im officially lost. wahh. countless probabilities. and needless to say, i looked like a primary sch kid in the anderson and st. nic pinafoles. i know i look youthful. -.-"

cross-country was fun! haha. though i miss running at macritchie and the company of friends such as giant spiders, snakes, ants, mosquitoes, blah. the route was pretty direct at bishan park. i really had a good time running! ((: a big thank you to those who haf provided me wif constant encouragement and support! i really appreciate it! especially marion. haha. the girl got top 5 in the house category! yay!! so proud of her! lol. but the irritating thing abt today's event was when the j2s on duty said that we only had 300m more to run before we completed the race! but guess what??!?! after running 300m, someone else said dat we had 800m more to go!!! what a way to make people run faster! rofl! but it was fun all the same!

after we were dismissed, the class went nuts over taking pictures. of course, people like sok yin couldnt stop taking shots of herself. haha. i love 15`07 like nuts!! ((: we are all cam-whored! and we couldnt stop singing as well. siao ah. later, i had og dinner at cafe cartel with hui min, yu xin, sophie, ah ma, cherie, cepheus, chong yang, dick, sheng hong and daniel! expensive meat. tsk tsk. burnt another big hole in my already holey pocket. die. i suck at finance management! and more and more people are saying that the results will be released on tue or wed. my mum said dat ite registration starts on 8th feb (thurs). geena's mum thinks dat the official day is either tue or wed. wan yin's principal announced dat it wld be on tuesday. haix. oh well, the truth has to come eventually. and at the end of the day, the results do most of the talking. better prepare a die soon and start re-examining my options (if im left with any, that is). kayaking's on sunday! *shivers* and im gg to the pool tmr to practice holding my breath underwater. cant let the fear control me! for now, i shld start doing something abt my obese work pile. haix. jiayou!

so little time
so much to do
i'd rather spend my day with you.

2007-01-29T20:03:00.000+08:00

new blogskin! it was a pretty nice find! so blue! yay!
i am a walking blue-black. aiyo. yesterday's kayaking was taxing. apparently, i developed hydrophobia. the capsize drill was poorly executed. i panicked like mad. i thought i was going to die. so i struggled and did not tap the the base of the capsized kayak as a result. that happened thrice. my hands got pinned down by the flooded cockpit several times. i lacked the strength to pull the flooded and overturned kayak over my own. hence, it remained flooded with water!! im sorry, sining! didn mean to implicate u!! i guess i haf lots of "homework" to do over this week. seriously man, the fear of drowning is overwhelming. sometimes, i ponder back and wonder how i ever achieved my one-star. oh well.

today was pure madness. junyang and sok yin swapped uniforms! haha. it was hilarious. once in a lifetime! now that spurred everyone to cross dress. so from tmr onwards, 15/07 can start hosting runway shows. and i noe dat someone is still waiting for me to plunge the parang into his guts! haha. in the afternoon, terry, kelvin (cockroach), sok yin, fiona (aka mrs hong) and i went to j8 for lunch. great one, subway! ((: then we headed to cath high for some sightseeing. lame lah. people crash jcs. we crash secondary schs. lol. and the guys there were like...girls? haha. and the primary sch students are weird. i merely passed the soccer ball back to them using my hands and they accussed me of using hand-ball!!! what?!?! but nevertheless, it was quite amusing. i miss my primary sch days! (where i only weighed half as much as i do at present!!) anyway, just wanna thank terry and cockroach for showing us around! :D

and it's official! the results will be out next week!! heartbeat maximized! adrenaline overload! ahh!!! HOW?? hope for the best and prepare for the worst. haix. dunno wad to expect. i haf serious issues man. SS. :/ tmr got math test! got tons of unfinished hw. gotta fly now. if not tmr sure get slaughtered de!!! jiayou, jiayou!

good night! ((:

2007-01-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

is walking away really the best solution to one's problem?
why do people just disappear?
how far can we run
how long can we hide
perhaps it's just one of the ways deployed by humans to seek solace
if only we could find means to penetrate ur innermost thoughts
everyone is so caught up with their hectic lives;
it's as though no one cares and renders no helping hand
but i hope that in time to come, you'll realise that things aren't really what they appear to be
we care. you know we do.
please come home.

2007-01-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

one junction
numerous paths to choose from
one wrong move made
and you are slammed with a dead end
the remaining paths are frauled with unseen dangers
what would you do?
where would you go?

where do i truly belong? this question has been bugging me since i stepped into aj this morning. the orientation programme today was quite ok. haha. but it was definitely more enjoyable at the end. hah. they must haf saved the best for the last. it feels weird seeing guys walking around the sch compound. hah. i guess i really do miss cedar. :( i was reminsicing abt the fonder moments; thought abt our beloved tchers, the super dirty classroom which mrs lim always trashed the class for, the snails, the cedar eye, the clocktower, the tiles on the courtyard, blah. and most importantly, the CEDAR SPIRIT! it was quite quiet at the start. aiyo. shld haf talked more to myself. haha. got nagged at by ah ma for talking too loudly. it always happens. haha. but it felt nice to see the occassional specks of blue in the 800 strong jc1 cohort. it shows that a cedarian is always close by! :D
the people i've met so far are really nice too! but i only talked to the girls. seeing the world through my eyes would also mean that guys are generally non-existent. i just became oblivious to their presence. haha. and apparently, i wasn't the only stone today. hah. there was a bigger one at srjc! haha. miss pok ah! the guy wanted so badly to talk to you! how could u do that to him? tsk tsk. but to think of it, it is rather amusing. and im laughing to myself. -.-"
mr yau! small fish in a big pond. big fish in a small pond. i miss his fishy tales.
i really can't wait for the O-level results to be out. i guess it's because i want to step into the mph once more and feel the warmth of cedar. i also yearn for results that are good enough to qualify me for vj (then amanda can help to chain me permanently to its gates!) im mad. my whole mind is vj, vj, vj, vj! i wanna get dunked into the sea. they can do it a 100 times. i really dun mind. but the future is unpredictable and knows no bounds. where will we all be 6 mths from today? if only i'd knew. and there's aj - will i stay on if the other door of happiness opens? or would i even lack what it takes to stay on? so many questions, finite answers. as more doors open, we'll only be plagued by more questions. haix. at this rate, im bound to haf even more white hair.
and as i would usually say, "memories become my best companion." i know that they'll still be there even when you're gone; and that mesmerizing smile frozen in that frame of time.

the following is an excerpt from a chinese song translated into english. i chanced upon the article written by jamie teo for "hua yu ku" in the sunday times and she mentioned abt how certain words are more impactful when they are in chinese. totally agree. this song is one example. i hope i didn kill its essence. it's really really nice and meaningful. and of course, i wasn't the one who underwent the heartbreak. hees. -.-

put an end to the lying, the hiding and the panicking
for i know the answer concealed by your ailing heart
i am contented with the memory of your visage
that reflected much of the love you had when you thought that i was the one
the time has come and i hope that you will no longer live in fear and guilt
for the love that had once been is no more
and all that i yearn to be reminded of is the look of bliss when you were happy

#1 trick to successfully jio a chio bu or shuai ge
"you are cosine square and i am sine square. together, we are one!"

2007-01-01T22:44:00.000+08:00

down wif a seriously bad bout of flu.
haix. i hope i can recover on time for jc.
jc: taboo term. i miss cedar. and i hate having to start from scratch once again.
well, there are probably 30000 other students out there who share my sentiments.
it's the last 24 hrs of the holidays! ahh! and it's 2007! and im turning 17 in 3 more months. am i old or am i old? yesh, i am ageing with every passing second.
what does aj haf in store for me?
1) TAF club. no need to audition. i'll probably be its latest inclusion as expected. working at pepper lunch has taken a few pounds off me. but i was quick in gaining it all back coz after all, i am in the F & B industry. what the.
2) another shot at the sch choir? shld i?? we'll see. :D
3) sports. for a physically-declined person like me, taking up sports as a CCA shld be quite a challenge. i wld really like to engage in a sports CCA for a change. can help shed off the slack. haha. but will i make the cut? the scissors will decide.
4) guys. not in that sense. i hope i will be able to adapt to the co-ed envt. imagine project work.
5) less sleep. consider travelling hours and the hectic sch curriculum. welcome to the jc life.
it's a jungle out there. everyone is slammed wif apprehension. but that's life and its highs and lows. i was still grumbling abt how slowly time passed 5 weeks ago. maybe it was the work at pepper lunch; perhaps i just lost touch. the presence of so many people will be missed!! dun wanna mention names coz the list is apparently endless. we'll all meet after 1 month or so. den i hope we'll all be flooding tears of joy! and then our fate for the next 2 yrs will be determined. i wonder what will become of my vj dream den. starboard, come to the right side. pretty cool theme! the dream always seems to live up to its name. but the opportunity might come knocking on the door. so we shall link arms and hope. for now, i will just place my hand on the door knob and open it when the time comes tmr. yoyo aj, here i come! :D

2006-12-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

if destiny decides that i should look the other way,
then the world will never know the greatest story ever told.

we've all arrived at the junction. here comes the time of the new year when paths shall once again cross and some backs turned. where will you be the next time the traffic light turns red? i see you standing by the roadside, awaiting to cross. the next moment, you're gone. just like the wind. memories become my best companion, but they will always be second to your presence. the new light of dawn draws near and will soon engulf the fading darkness of the night. the tears bombard my eyes as flashbacks of your visage overwhelm my thoughts. then i remember your smile. and the laughter and fun you brought to my life. i no longer stare at the empty road in which your presence once graced. i keep your promise close to my heart. i know we will meet at the cross roads once again, just like what you said.

it's just good night, but not goodbye.

2006-12-11T20:54:00.000+08:00

im back from yet another day of work. it was eventful.
i did the opening of the outlet this morning. i was sanitizing the cloth needed for the cleaning of the signboards when i chanced upon someone. it appeared to be a woman at first sight, but upon closer inspection, the person seemed more like a man. a man? with long permed hair? skinny jeans? green adidas woman's jacket? ahh!!! confounded, i sprayed a mist of sanitizer, not at the cloth, but at the table and chair! i thot my eyes were playing tricks on me. later that afternoon, i told ver and xiao zhong. xiao zhong said that he was an ah gua. and ver kept wanting to know whether he was pretty or not! what the.

my second day as a cashier was pretty ok. in my eyes at least. i made several mistakes as expected. if only i was blessed with a photographic memory...or at least better hearing. i also seem to have a problem differentiating b/w pepper lunch and pepper rice. the greeting that i was supposed to say was "welcome to pepper lunch, may i take ur order?" but i added some spice and pepper lunch became pepper rice instead. coincidentally, pepper rice sales were at tops for today. i told the rest abt my horrible blunder. verena tan was laughing like a mad hyena! so much for being my fren! gosh! im going to get fried cuttlefish soon! though realising my mistake, i wasn't able to correct the fault completely. i nearly said "welcome to pepper rice" again to one customer, and was made to hold back my laughter. :/

haha. and richard went gaga over this girl just now. he was so into her asking for extra carrots to be added to her salmon pepper rice and said that this would only be done especially for her. aww. den later, he wrote a short note (number included) to her. but he couldn't muster enough courage; he said he was shy. haha. but xiao zhong, ver and i decided to take matters into our own hands! we wrote another note and passed it to her after much deliberation! richard was smiling secretly to himself after that! LOL! i will be expecting a wedding invitation soon! haha.

48 more hours to liberation! malacca, here i come!! ((: can't wait!! i will be receiving the pae posting as well. :'( what can i possibly expect? what CCA to join? ahh. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi.

shall yvonne ma'am while distributing discount coupons this evening. haha. she was the only reason behind my smile. the process of flyer distribution really stinks! i loathe it more than any thing else. and i just can't bring myself to smile! as usual, 20 ppl can walk past you without even giving a damn abt what you have to offer them. but then again, it really is abt a matter of choice. so i gotta respect that. haha. and there was this indian lady who asked me for directions to orchard road. after receiving my directions, she asked me why was i standing there? haha. so cute. (: to think that i actually believed that singaporeans would typically be enticed to the idea of free discount coupons. i couldn't have been more wrong. oh well. that's all in a day's work. good luck to me tmr. it's gonna be another seemingly futile round of flyer distribution.

jiayou!

2006-12-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

watching the body building (60kg) segment of the asian games. woahh. i haf nothing to say. mother nature's work of art; plus a whole lot of hard work and sweat as well! singapore's representative wore yellow trunks; maybe this has some link to what bryan wong mentioned on today's LIFE segment. "wear yellow trunks? no problem!" lol. singpore got a bronze. not too bad lah. something is better than nothing! cheeros! ((:

but still, it's a rather disturbing sight. i already get the creeps when i try to visualise mr yau as a body bulider. well he was one. ahh, and those unforgettable arms with creeping veins. hah. one of the body builders is a 3-time mr. universe!! so hiong! makes me feel ashamed coz i can be likened as a big lump of wobbly fat. and speaking of size, 4 brothers who were of large built (for their age) ordered food at pepper lunch today. initially, they ordered 4 mini pepper rice. not too bad. i thot they were dieting. but i was so wrong. alarmingly, they ordered food for 3 consecutive rounds. wow. auntie annie was saying that normal humans eat thrice a day. haha. and they eat thrice during a meal. now, that's dangerous. tsk tsk.

in the second round, the body builder from macau did his poses using the pussycat doll's "Don't cha!". haha. entertaining for sure. i was overwhelmed with goose pimples. and these reps are like 160 odd kilos. i wonder what tanning oil they use? great effect. so shiny. ok, i know i'm beginning to sound sick. but it's really tough to outdo one's competitors in a mass display of muscles. i can sense the adrenaline rush in the females who are present at the live competition. they just look simply awed.

ok, back to work. today was horrendous. i had already braced myself for the worst after making a third consecutive mistake, but my colleagues were nice and showered me with constant words of encouragement. firstly, i did not remind daniel abt the fact that the customer did not want spring onions in his pepper rice. xiao zhong had to take the trouble of removing all of it subsequently. :( later, i did not say pepper steak loud enough for daniel to hear and he prepared hamburger steak instead. poor cow. and after i stacked 2 trays that held hot plates, bowls and food scraps at the sink and conveniently walked off, everything came crashing down in a matter of moments. damn!!! i dunno wad went over me during that span of time, but whatever it was, it defintely made me come to my senses! ding-dong, cheong keet! this is reality, this is work life! the customers are not your friends, they wun tolerate any nonsense! you cannot destroy a company's good name single-handedly! (not that i need any help in tainting pepper lunch's reputation, but still!) ahh!! den daniel sent me to pack bean sprouts and refill the salmon supply. hah, and i didn haf to go all the way to norway. it was in the fridge, and i couldn't even recognize the signature pink meat. wow. so much for having 6-6 eye sight!

my brother is a nerve-wrecker!! gone for nearly 2 weeks! and now he's back and as usual, extending his dominance over my world! damn it! it's not as though i had a perfectly wonderful day and needed some negativity to neutralise the goodness. i can't even get some peace. gosh. even life in slumber land is a dread these days. i'm haunted by the O'levels. i dreamt abt receiving my result slip and it reflected grades for 10 subjects instead of 8! what?! and my rabbit gave birth to 4 little bunnies and she had a husband! they were living in the cage with 2 other guinea pigs that appeared from nowhere and there were embryos as well! what is becoming of my supposedly peaceful slumber land?! am i that stressed? oh well, i'm just glad that my time-out is coming soon. but then again, i'm not too sure. i just hope that there wun be any tension during the short trip, and i hope even more that i wun be the cause of it.

i miss working wif sining and eating venezia ice cream! i know you miss me too, yeo. but the tag board is not functioning well at the moment. dolly ah, i'm so much heavier now. haha. that 500g loss was definitely water. you shld go bug the organizers for your pay! tsk tsk. nevertheless, jiayou! it was well-earned money. so handle it wisely and dun spend it all in one place! destined to be a housewife liao. so naggy. ahha.

good morning! and adios amigos! ((:

2006-12-07T10:41:00.000+08:00

Always on your side - Sheryl Crow Feat Sting

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought I'd be
Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared
Leavin' you with only questions all these years
But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be
Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay

Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side
But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

2006-12-07T09:28:00.000+08:00

rise and shine! it's a thursday morning! (:
ahha. i had a peculiar dream about someone whom i've buried deep in my heart. (wondering why i didn't opt for cremation?! hah. my heart is definitely not suffering from land scarcity. ((: and fond memories are meant for remembering.)
at age 12, he was like my sky. damn, i can't believe i said this. but girls are known to mature much earlier than guys. hah. and for the first 2 yrs of my secondary sch life, i strived to attend vj partly because of him. sounds dumb; but love is blind. so blind. with time, everything just faded away. these days, i'm numbed to such things (that's why i always say that i wun even haf a chance to be left on the shelf. why? coz i was never on it in the first place. haha. in too bad a condition to even be on display.)
but dreams can be so unpredictable. God knows why i even dreamnt of him in the first place. i knew that nothing would come out of this the very first time we met. but he was a great friend with a great sense of humour. haha. and a entertainer of all sorts as well. we used to play "who wants to be a millionaire" underneath our tables during lesson times. and we almost never got caught; but when we did, he stood up for me anyway. you see how moved my heart was. and i was only 11 then. i recall one occassion when i went to his house with another classmate for a group project. upon fulfilling the task, we decided on a game of badminton. 2 against 1 (my friend and i against him). and being a sucker at badminton at that time, i did the unthinkable or should i say totally unavoidable - i slapped his chest wif my racket accidentally. ouch. but it was really amusing. hah. no broken bones!
then as the feelings began to grow overwhelming, i thought of sharing some of it with him. perhaps that was one wrong move made and everything began crumbling down. in one day, i lost a friend to talk to and gained an arch foe. wow. see my prowess. i really do know how to scare people away. i also found out that he liked someone else in class. but no hard feelings; in fact, she was a really nice choice. but that was short-lived because she departed for the US subsequently.
i endured an entire year of teasing after that. the power of rumour; but it was true anyway, at least on my part. i chased him along corridors every single morning. hah. and enjoyed a sudden improvement in stamina in P6. but the 1.6km timing reeked all the same! apparently, i wasn't aware of how fast i should haf ran. i even walked during those 4 rounds and chatted merrily with a classmate. when i came to cedar, my timings for both the 1.6km and 2.4km run were the same! and it was not good at all! totally demoralizing.
i speculated for a very long time, not knowing whether he ever did feel a thing for me. some people said he did. but they never truly knew. and neither did i. i wanted to ask him about it when we graduated that very year, but i never found the courage to do so. but ignorance can be blissful at times as the truth always possesses a tendency to slam you right in the face. it's sad that even after 4 long years, i still feel as though something is missing in my life. what was his answer? that one word i yearned so much to hear (YES/NO lah!). ahh!
anyway, i still wun get my answer even though i feel really brave now. no vj for first 1 and 1/2 mths. but there's still something called a telephone and a number called home that i can dial. nahh! no way! i know the repercussions. not sweet at all!
aiyo! ok. shall pray very hard that my O'level results are flying with many nice colours! to be frank, i've already braced myself for extremely good results, not taking into consideration of the fact that i screwed phy and bio prac, left the SS paper incomplete, forgot to mention calcium silicate and the test for chlorides in chem paper, spelt mr. sim wong hoo's name wrongly for eng compo, wrote "yan yu" as "ci yu" for chi letter writing, used ke=1/2mv^2 instead of e=mc^2 for nuclear fission reaction in phy paper, and etc etc mistakes. remarkable, right? thou shall not lament. :'(
ahh. yesh! 1 more week to malacca trip! this time next week, i'll be on the bus there! yay! and i haf abt 2 hrs more to work. can smell more atsu atsu! yay! im such a sucker for curry! for fear not arteries, i am too poor to be able to afford a plate of atsu atsu. so that means that you are all safe from cholesterol and artery-clogging fatty foods. maybe it's just my wishful thinking. i hope not!
the sky is caving in. it's going to rain! bon voyage, wan yin and mil mil! oh crap! and i just rmbed, one more week to the release of the PAE posting results. ok, tj or aj, aj or tj. fullstop, i wun settle for more or less, so pls fulfill this simple wish of an easily-contented person. ((:

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side
goodbye justin.

2006-12-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

returned from my second day of work at dhoby xchange pepper lunch express. business was quite ok, but they were 500 orders short of reaching their target of 2000. hah, and i didn kill anyone's steak today! cooking for the customers aint dat bad after all! after all, every thing falls into place with time. and i lost 500g. not too bad. bought dinner home for mum and myself. guess what? my mum had already bought my share. damn. so the weight loss was in vain. maybe it's just not my day.

distributed pepper lunch discount brochures twice today. it's hard to reach out to singaporeans. you will feel extremely demoralized because 20 people can walk right pass you though knowing that you only haf 1 more brouchure left to give out. haha. maybe i should haf employed the tactic used by this man when he was distributing flyers. he just shouted "eh, take!" and shoved it into sining's hands. how nice! he'd probably punch us if we had refused.

i can't wait for next thurs to come! yay! going to malacca! finally, i can shop till i drop! shall briefly summarize my shopping list:
1) broad shorts
2) more black shirts
3) skirt
4) wallet
5) shoes for jc
6) bag(s) -> maybe they haf crumpler there. hah. im such a sucker for cheap stuff.
7) snackerels (haha. what my bro and i call snacks bought in m'sia)
8) sining's bdae present lest i cant afford those fox pants (yes, you know fox, as in the brand. i am an animal lover (:)
9) grub (all those unneccesities)
10) polar fats (that are FREE yet totally inevitable given by the amount of food i'll consume)

wanyin's flying off to new zeland tmr. mil mil is going to. candice is stuck in europe (maybe she's dangling from the eiffel tower!). geraldine is in disneyland (bickering wif donald duck). ahh! and im on a tiny red dot. oh well, that's life!

2006-12-03T15:53:00.000+08:00

im currently making the best of my off day. i love my freedom. i love to rot and do nothing! but blogging is counted as something right? ok, first thing's first - we had an unexpected visitor in jalan paras. a third friend for the chickens. yup - you guessed it, a chicken! my parents were speculating about its presence and concluded that its irresponsible owner had abandoned it at our old house yesterday night. great. and i guess our unexpected guest is here to stay. haha. my dad said that animals are not meant to be caged up, and all creatures have a certain destiny. and i told him that we are destined to rear chickens. haha. so can jalan paras be counted as an animal shelter? probably, since we already have 3 chickens and 1 rabbit there. and i had this sudden urge to quit my job and spend some time back there to tend them.

poor little clucks. it can't possibly share a cage with the other 2 chickens as they are much larger in size and might attack it (see, size does matter after all!). so for now, it's on its own. and then we consider the possible dangers that threaten its survival. miao. ahh!! and once again, my dad stepped in and said that its small size gave it an advantage. he said that it's tenacious, and yeah, i gotta agree on this one coz it can fly! ok, not "flap-flap" like birds we see in the sky. but still, it was smart enough to seek shelter from the morning drizzle by flying up to a stone stool that was underneath the banana tree. haha. therefore, after much deliberation, i've decided to call it "tenacious". though that name happens to rhyme with delicious, i shalln't elaborate too much on that part. :/

my freedom will expire in slightly less than 24 hours. it's going to be yet another long and hectic day at work tmr afternoon. and verena tan made me promise to work wif her on tuesday (which is sining's bdae! ((:). initially, we had agreed for it to be our off day, but oh well! working at taka is exactly advantageous. in fact, it has more cons than pros. for instance, imagine having dinner at orchard everyday for the next 3 weeks. you won't even live to see the hole in your pocket; there will be nothing left!! hmm, and with christmas and new year coming up, work will just get increasingly taxing and strenuous. so we must all jiayou! ver ah, persevere! we will live to see the sun again! -.-"

and congrats to dolly for earning her keep at sitex! my dear mum told her that i was suffering at pepper lunch. as usual, working is no easy feat. im definitely looking forward to next next week when i can finally rot and fatten up! malacca trip! let's just put the topic of fats aside for once. hah! i'm just hoping that i will haf enough energy to shop coz like what sining said, an opportunity like that means only one thing for us working people - SLEEP! (: and there's guides chalet as well! yay! and a supposed 4p outing - gotta wreck my brains again to plan for it! oh yes, and not forgetting about the release of pae posting results on the 14th! which part of singapore will i be relocated to?! i really miss cedar!!! :'(

happy belated bdae to liying!! ((:
shall dump presents on u during the guides chalet. hah!
the orioleans are getting old!

2006-12-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

ok. after 2 days of work at pepper lunch, i've arrived at a conclusion: i love studying!! working really is tough. especially at such a popular franchise. can you believe it? hot plate sales hit an all time high yesterday - 8860!!! it was like a mad rush! imagine the inflow of customers. the blood vessels in my feet literally burst. i had a hard time getting myself to sleep yesterday night though i was physically exhausted. the smell of soy sauce continued to overwhelm me. i dun think i'll dare to go near a hot plate after my work term has ended. :/

and i also owe my dear mum a BIG thank you for washing the foul-smelling uniform at that unearthly hour! ((: she said that the soy sauce smell was hard to rid off. not surprsing at all. hmm, and sining and i made a pact to set aside a tidy sum of our pay for our parents. ((:

our short day at pepper lunch was fruitful. customers swamped the house from 12pm onwards. i nearly toppled a hot plate. sining had great trouble pronouncing "curry". haha. she kept saying "kali" and the customer was like "?!?!". i killed someone's cow again! great! all thanks to my horrendous cooking skills! the butter just refused to stick to the chicken. damn. and den i had a mental block coz a customer asked for more butter and when i got it, i had clean forgotten abt who had asked for it. :/

we made out departure from pepper lunch at 3 plus. it was nice to feel the floor again (i mean for our butts). haha. sining and i savoured ice cream from Ven-something. die, stm acting up again! haha. i had mint and strawberry (i noe, odd combi. but heck, it was a steal at $3!) while sining had tiramisu and bis-something (stm again!). it was so nice!!!!! i told sining dat i wanted to buy the tub of mint choc home! yeah, fat hope. maybe when i get my pay! den i'll get fat. great!

hmm, and it's really sad to see sining so sad at times! should haf seen her face when we had dinner yesterday. aiyo! cheer up, yeo! i know it's not easy being a President Guide ((:, but remember guide law no. 7 "a guide has courage and is cheerful in all difficulties." Jiayou for e Standard Chartered Marathon tmr!! you can do it! haha. (maybe i ought to reserve the encouragement for the participants of the 42km run as well) haha. jiayou people!

cluck. cluck.

voila! sweet!

2006-11-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

Yeo! Second Coy! The Host and Parasite! ((:

Mrs Lam! haha. The Host and Parasite! ((:

You have fed me well, Sunflower! Oriole will not forget. ((:

2006-11-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

aiyo. still deaf in one ear. great. went for a job interview today and having a blocked ear certainly didn't help one bit. the interviewer was soft, so i only managed to catch half of what he was saying. and i thot i heard him say something about their business focusing on the sale of health supplements - not pills, but fibrous material, you know atoms and molecules. and then i heard amino acids. what?!?! i dunno what i heard. haha.

later on, we decided to try our luck at hotel rendezvous. hah. waitress - no experience. byebye. what luck. then we bid our farewells and went our separate ways. huag and i made our way down to ikea. we bought several items at a steal. Wrapping paper in 5 different designs - $5.90. metal whisk - $1.90. potpourri - $1.80. metal tins of varied designs- $6. Not too bad. haha. but we looked like typical aunties. aiyo. maybe ger was right. housewife. ahh.

the bus ride home seemed to take all eternity. we saw the railway station at tanjong pagar. cool. i gawked at the heavily decorated Raffles Hotel that shimmered in the evening lights. huag said that it looked over the top. haha. but the presence of colourful decorative lights have never failed to amaze me. so pretty. a modern day facade.

tmr's going to be a long day once again. meeting sining tmr at pp and from there, we are going to make our way down to vivocity zara. not to shop, but to find a job. yep. being jobless seriously stinks. i'm still waiting for my bacteria to come and decompose me. (:

the feeling of being caught in the middle isn't all that nice. ok. im stating the obvious. oh well. what more can i say? cedar has given me great friends. and from there, i've learnt how to really appreciate them. yup. and that's about all i can say. (:

right here waiting
waiting for my job opportunity
welcoming lobangs

2006-11-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Oriole rules! poor jiani! haha.

point number 1: poor trees point number 2: i don't know this person. haha. cheeros marion! you're on the world wide web!

angel`05. blue.

sec 3s'06. cookie monster and elmo! ((:

CIP partner! SJI! mildred! ((:

mortal`06! emcee`06. Su-Ann.

Pearlyn ah ma!! (((:

sining and azy! ((:

Have a nice day! (:

2006-11-28T11:13:00.000+08:00

ok...now for the less solemn posting!!!!
i can't stand it when people keep flying in and out of my life! ger just left with her family on their flight to san fransico or florida (wherever DISNEYLAND is) at 6am. her dad booked a cab at 2.55am. haha. and i told her to say 'hi' to Donald for me. boo! she promised to get me his picture. (: quack.

then mrs simon lam aka as yong is going on a tour to the whole of europe. :'( heart breaking. if only someone can reserve some space for me in her luggauge. full of winter clothing! ahha. but nvm. now, i'm promised the leaning tower of pisa, the eiffel tower, the arena, the big ben, and all the monuments there! haha. but seriously, it's a once in a lifetime trip! 2 weeks. i just faint at the thought of the plane taking off. and geraldine kho happens to be on one now. probably indulging in some movie. oh well, i shall work hard and get my chance one day...in the not so far off future. yes!! haha. -.-"

and im still jobless...hopelessly pending for that one call. ought to introduce some bacteria to accelerate my rate of decomposition. gladly return to the carbon cycle now. at least i'll have some purpose in life. ahh. okay. chaos for now. meeting deb for lunch.

still waiting
hopeless pending
give me a call!!!
give me a job!!!
:'(

2006-11-28T10:02:00.000+08:00

verena tan haha. i'm typing using verdana font now. ok. nvm. anw, i'll rmb wad u told me over the phone yesterday night...thou i didn exactly catch all of it coz i was distracted by the tv. (: i'm sure true love will weather all odds, but i still think that that person ought to jump down from the 12th story. haha. ok, but still gotta salute him for his undying devotion. peering in from our small little window, how much can we actually see about their world? guarding that window alone has already proven to be a difficult task. now, it's fogged, and i can only see through that little clearing made. i guess things are not always what we percieve them to be at first sight. many a times, making false assumptions only leads to us getting more hurt than ever. true happiness comes with a price; we gotta earn it. Perhaps the happy ending will come one day...but for now, let the story slowly unfold and us, the audience, follow the plot with intent eyes.

I feel strange bringing this topic up once again, but since I have, I shall not hesitate to make full use of it. Thank you for everything; those were wise words articulated, memorable phrases I've always kept in mind - regardless of whether it was 'i' on stage, or 'us' in the audience. And then the emcee says,

As told by time in history, power monarchies and ruling kingdoms comprsed both fairytale happenings and that of dreary bloodshed.
From the Medieval Ages to that of the Reneissance, kings and queens occupied the seats of power, controlling with an iron fist.
Young princesses, naive and innocent; bright princes, glory and throne...life as royalty, sprakling like chrome
Raging fires, burning steel; knights in their armour, armed with honour.
Long, cold wars, lives lost. White flag, bitter defeat. Heads held high, glorious victory.
Dukes and duchesses, his royal subjects.
Jewels and treasury, her richness of life.
Once upon a time, so unlikely.
Happily ever after, perhaps.
The life of royalties...
the Tudors and Bourbons...
far west...English
they lived while others sought,
Encanto Real, Your Royal Enchantment
Our treat,
To your pleasure
Welcome and enjoy.

Then I remember you saying, "one lollipop!"

2006-11-27T14:41:00.000+08:00

the ear infection has finally taken its toll upon me. still, i dont regret ever going for that swim. currently, i only haf four and a half senses. haha. you can now curse and swear from the left side of me. i wun mind, really. (:

huag and i filled in job application forms for 3 hotels this morning. all of them had pretty nice ambiances. (: but the security checks were tight. huag's ankles were bombarded with plasters as her newly bought ballet pumps didn give them such an easy time. :/ our job hunting had to end by noon as huag had to leave for her guzheng chalet. and im beginning to wonder...isn't it high time for someone to ring us up? at present, we are faced with 2 career options - banquet waitress or door girl. yes, i mean door girl not doll girl. haha. somehow, i just feel weird about the idea of someone opening the door especially for me whenever i enter a hotel. it seems to defeat the purpose of having hands.

Rebecca from tj soccer team called earlier on. i was expecting the hotelier. oh well. she said that soccer practice would commence on every monday and friday of the week. cool. but i'm scared. as usual. hm, perhaps this is a chance for me to become more physically-inclined. definitely. and if i do happen to get posted to tj, soccer would be the CCA that i would take up. ((: i hope that the odds are not too against me. maybe PAE this yr would be less stringent. but for now, i shall continue to deliberate. THINK, THINK, THINK. after all, it's not called the beautiful game for nothing right?

grand hyatt
goodwood park
crown jewel

2006-11-26T22:00:00.000+08:00

sining msged me the night before and asked if i had any lobang.
huag and i made a trip down to raffles hotel on friday in a bad to get jobs as waitresses. it was a futile trip. but the hotel had a wonderful ambiance nevertheless. and so the process of decomposition continues. :/

tmr will be another insanely long day. the morning has been reserved for job-hunting. huag and i plan to go to raffles town club and some posh hotels. i dun pin high hopes on employment though. haha. but who knows anyway. i just wanna earn back what i splurged on prom. those 4 hours weren't exactly superb. to be frank, it was rather anti-climax. and nope, the oyster served had no pearl. :'( ehh. actually, i dun even think it was an oyster. that was a rumour. it tasted more like mussel. oh well. mussel or oyster. didn make much of a difference to the night anyway.

but we did manage to capture some fantastic, 'once in a life time' moments. excluding the part about my face, everyone looked gorgeous! too bad the sji scouts weren't present to see mildred. lol. and julie the middle looked like a Greek Goddess. Dolly looked HOT! Zhen Luan was sizzling! haha. thanks to FOO that i managed to see the light of Prom. shopping had never been that bad. it left me feeling down trodden for those few days. haha. and a sweet loss of 1kg that soon became history. haix. when will that ever become permanent?! and lots of thanks to the people who went through thick and thin with me for the past week. Mummy, Dolly, Geraldine, Candice, Wan Yin, Chan Yu, Sally, etc... Though I didn managed to get clad in an appropriate bottom...heck, I went anyway. Oh and not forgetting the hairstylist at Hollywood Secrets, thanks for giving me that extra boost. Your words were well articulated. (:

Tank cleaning today was stale. There were breeding females in the aquarium. i saw larvae!!! and some worms that were synthesized out of nothing? i reckon those were tubifex worms...but from where? Don't ask me.

Hm. The scholars have all flown home. Shiya and Xiaoxing said that Chong Qing is experiencing cold weather at the moment. COOL! get the joke? and i'm still staring at the green chili they gave me as a parting gift. I'm sure Shijun will finally muster the courage to tell that guy her feelings...again. Jiayou! And Guo Si. haha. $. I'll be waiting for the 4 of you to come back. In the meantime, enjoy the time back home and if possible, do not rule out the possibility of tying the knot. haha.

5 more days to Candice's departure. Venice. London. Paris.
For me, I'll just seek solace in the SS textbook.
Geraldine is flying off too. To Disneyland.
And 2 weeks +++ to the Malacca trip. I drool at the thought of food and leak when i attempt to envision my future weight gain.
Oh yes, and the release of PAE posting results? Will it be TJ or AJ? I'll just be contented and consider options of my top 2 choices. Let's hope that Heaven wouldn't put me in a spot. Hopefully, none of us gets put in such a spot. ((:

Will someone please hire me?
Give me a rice bowl
And allow me a chance to fill it.

2006-10-15T20:41:00.000+08:00

Graduation - the start of a new beginning

It has been a well-spent 4 years in Cedar - a place we know we can always call 'home'. We've grown to be like the Cedar Tree - sturdy, strong and never easily uprooted. This journey has nurtured us into confident individuals who possess much more substance today as compared to the uncertain figures who walked through her gates for the first time many yesterdays ago. Self-discipline is one of the main values that Cedar has inculcated in us through our respective co-curricular activities (CCAs). Through them, we have learnt that there is indeed no 'I'in 'TEAM'. Bonds were forged through long hours of drills and by ever-blazing campfires. These friendships are the ones that can last us a lifetime. And though short these four years may be, they have, no doubt, played a crucial role in moulding a difference - us. Being able to bring back trophies after participating in competitions is certainly something that can make us feel immensely proud of; and this is especially so because they were won in the name of Cedar. However, at times, when we return home empty-headed, tears of disappointment are shed because we are aware that we have not just disappointed ourselves, but also the school that we represent. But we learn best through failures and at the end of the day, most of us still emerge as champions - champions for being able to pick ourselves up after every fall. Hence, we know that we would leave Cedar with our heads held high. Up till this day, we still remain most amazed by the spirit of the Cedarian population. It is the essence of Cedar and will always be the thing that we are remembered and known for. We are truly proud to be able to claim that we are Cedarians and are glad for the chance to be able to don this blue and grey uniform with pride and respect for the school. Even if time rewound and choices were allowed to be remade, the one choice that will remain as a constant will be our option to be a part of Cedar Girls' School. And even as our final days in this remarkable institution of excellence draw to a close, we will not despair for the fact that we were once Cedarians and will always be.

By:Geraldine Kho and Cheong Keet Yeng
Class of 4P'06

2006-09-28T18:38:00.000+08:00

pertaining to our jc choice, mr. yau said that we can either be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond. the truth is - i'm only a microscopic fry or maybe you can call me a plankton. oh well, the truth always hurts. but on a whole, 4P did pretty well. the average L1R5 was 8 (raw). i bet raw meat has never tasted this good. heh. only that mine is not as appetizing, and that means that i'm neither here nor there. it's not desirable to be in this pair of shoes. Too bad that this shop sells goods that are not exchangable. At this juncture, making the best out of this pair of shoes is probably the most pragmatic move. After all, they can minimise my chances of getting blisters and sores from my walk along the long and seemingly endless road ahead. And for that, I ought to be thankful.

2006-09-20T03:00:00.000+08:00

18 down. 1 more to go. physics practical on thursday.
bio was horrendous. i am BLIND. it's no wonder why the simplest things are known to be life's greatest pleasures. i should learn how to appreciate my gift of sight and READ questions carefully, so that i would never miss out another 15 degrees or exactly 70mm again. Those caused my downfall. So at this juncture, I'll have to clasp my hands and hope for the best (more of preparing for the worst).

I guess this preliminary exam has taken its greatest toll on me. yupp! I am a sucker for good results. I want to make it to the top 5 JCs (VJ!!). But my ability is falling short of my expectations. I'd better make the best out of my final shot at redemption in several weeks. (Yup, it's that soon). And polish my severely tarnished brain and maximize knowledge input.

The choc mint ice cream printed on my exam calender was indeed enticing. I literally drowned in my saliva. YUM. :( too bad, it's just a flat 2 dimensional picture that represents the highest fat content figment of my imagination. I think Gelare or some ice cream brand sells 94% fat free choc mint ice cream. So nice! boos. it might be 2.33am in the morning but my salivary glands are certainly active. green simply makes my day.

oh yes! and the "Jim's all fried up" blogksin is certainly the best of its kind! (In my perspective at least) Pure entertainment! hahaha. chickens arent that notorious after all! in fact, they rock my socks! ((: hello oscar and wah-ducs-nars. 7 years and still going strong! too bad orsos didn live to see this day. i am, after all, guilty for what happened to her. And this is why it's so important for pet owners to be doting and responsible for their pets. I had an alter ego. A really bad one... ...

Of course, i don't roast my chickens. In fact, because of them, my bro has been abstaining from chicken meat for quite a while. i just indulge in the veggy and the occasional eggy. :P

2006-08-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

when things go wrong as they sometimes will,
when the road you are treading seems all up hill.
when the funds are low and the doubts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh.
when care is pressing you down a bit -
rest if you must, but don't you quit.

life is queer with its twists and turns,
as everyone of us sometimes learn.
and many a fellow turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.
don't give up though the pace seems slow -
you may succeed with another blow.

often the goal is nearer than
it seems to a faint and faltering man.
often the struggler has given up
when he might have captured the Victors cup,
and he learned too late when the night came down
how close he was to the Golden Crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar,
so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit -
it's when things seem worst that you musn't quit.

for those who've triumphed, well done! ((:
but for those who've faltered once, rest if you must, but don't you quit!

2006-08-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

i thought i could be strong...then everything came crashing down. i realise - that i'm only human after all. no tears were shed. nope...not even a drop. no trickling. no sobs. i expected the expected. so, it wasn't that unexpected after all. i guess most of my classmates thought that i would cry, especially after they learnt that both jolene and ying fang had As. Evan cried even though she said she wouldn't. There was laughter, sheer exasperation, disappointment, emotions of all sorts. i was numbed - but i did not know whether it was due to disappointment or disbelief. it can make you, but it can also break you. now, i feel as though i've been shattered into a thousand and one pieces, and regardless of whether i get fixed with the passing of time, i am certain that an unexplainable emptiness will continue to linger on in my heart. my brother said that i was merely overreacting...and that the elder siblings of his peers were exhilarated when they realised that they had achieved a b3. i dread this grade. but i dread myself even more. who's to blame for my present predicament? myself. and that's for not trying hard enough. thank you to all those for believing in my ability to excel, but i apologise because i've let all of you down. dun worry wan yin, your head will remain intact. and to those whom i asked to bring barrels for me to...because there were no tears, i guess we'll have to reserve those for another day. and to marcus...I'm sorry but that A continues to be non-existent...maybe until after my second try. Marion, be strong and don't cry. we can't win all the time. you were there to catch my tears. let me catch yours now. we can start a conservation project together and open a reservoir. haha. and for that candle, hope. for as long as it still shines. believe. it can make a difference. you can be that difference. so we faltered once, but we picked ourselves up and cleanse the gashes. it's not the end. in fact, it's the start of a new beginning. a beginning that we write and an end that burns bright. Rmb, it's not up to anyone else to make you give your best. Though many a time, our best may not seem enough. But at least we tried...and to our parents, I trust that it was enough. (:

2006-08-09T01:24:00.000+08:00

Colin Raye - Love me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

2006-08-08T21:59:00.000+08:00

that lingering emptiness. fix me.
haix. happy 41st national day. ok, no offense. im not here to dampen the spirit of red and white. we had our small-scale celebration in a major way in school this morning. a sea of red and white. meomorable indeed. The handful of prize winners managed a bird's eye view of the entire school from the third floor. The NDP marching contingent put up a splendid display of drills. YAY for guides! we did it once again! ((: hmm. it's disheartening to know that that was our last. how ironical. we saved the best for the last...and we brought the house down! (:

i just witnessed a spectacular display of fireworks for the pre-parade show - behind a tree!! so much for the skies being on fire. haha. i was really fired up when i realised that my beautiful firewroks were blocked by a tree. A tree! After putting so much faith in my register number of 4 years...all of it came crumbling down! WHY? because of a tree! aiyo. poor three. what a fate.

sining just told me that the pga results are out. fingers crossed. the longest drum roll in our lives is about to draw to a fade. anyway. win or lose. we're proud of you, host! the past few months have been gruelling, but you made it through all the same!! you said it's nice when people have faith in you; so you should all the more have faith in yourself. Jiayou SINING!! (:

.em ivegofr .yhtm wtb
you'll know why in time to come. haha. :P

2006-07-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

back from my 2 month long break from blogging, and soon, i'll be gone again.
yesterday was racial harmony day. it didn start off too harmoniously for me...bleahx.
I just stared for about 15 minutes. everyone in class was rushing to change. Frantic!! Saris! Lots of them! And then there was me! Stoning, staring and standing. But my last Racial Harmony Day in Cedar was definitely interesting! After my 15 minutes of stone, I went down to the Courtyard with Serena (whose was the FIRST to be completely dressed in a sweet pink baju kurong) for flag-raising. And to the greatest shock of our lives - there was no one in 4P who was there! Ahh. haha. That was a first time. Eventually, everyone came down after a whole 15 minutes and woahh, what a sight! Chio bu-s clad in different ethnic costumes swamped the courtyard! haha. Cherissa and Clara were forced to attend flag-raising in their school uniforms, bangles and rings (Clara had missing socks. lol) so cute! And that meant that I was the only other person in class who was clothed in uniform. bahh. that certainly felt weird. :/

After flag-raising, we enjoyed a short performance at the mph put up by an external theatreworks company. the little boy-boy (ok lah. maybe not that little since the actor is actually a grown man) in the performance was called SIMON!! haha. SIMON. erhem!!!!! sounds familiar, CANDICE???

The evidence!!!!

Overall, it was a pretty enjoyable performance. Funny but brought forth with important lessons in mind! Then the results for the racial harmony day fashion design competition were announced. Even though we didn win, I just want to THANK DOLLY for putting in so much effort for this competition!!! Your design made it to the noticeboard!! ((:

so the day proceeded as usual and we had emaths and chem lessons. miss sim ended lessons earlier and someone suggested that we'd take a class photo. wahh. died. I knew I had to change no matter what, so dolly accompanied me to the toilet where nive tied my sari. bad experience. so much cloth! so heavy some more! I felt like a big purple curtain! haha. so much for being in 4P! so...that was how the snapping started and it ceased only an hour after school ended.

haha. and mr. yau told us that when we have a fever, we are actually magnetised. he did a simple experiment to prove his point. since jess (my poor junior citizen) was having a fever at that pt of time, he told her to use a 5 dollar note to rub against her left ear. den he laid the note on the table and used a magnet to attract it. vola!! it became attracted to the magnet lehh!! woahh. den he told her to rub it against her right ear and later, he tested the magnetism again but it was gone!weird!! but so amazing!! ((:

ok lah. shall end here. i'm tired. and i need to strategise and utilise my time well! 38 more days to prelims! ahh.

2006-05-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

it's nearing the end of our seemingly untrue holiday.
i've been out all week and will be out for the rest of it. ahh. tired. haha. but who cares as long as you haf fun? lol. tmr's candice's long-awaited bdae bash!! yay! darling if you're reading this, i bought you something...UNEXPECTED? too bad you'll never guess what it is until u rip open the package. and in case you're wondering whether it's something dangerous...rest assured, it's not a bomb. ((:

ehh. went out with yu rong and marion today to watch posiden. though we had made an earlier pact to watch below 8...no wait, it's 8 below. lol. blur chan yu. oh well, it's no longer screening in local theatres so i guess we can only enjoy the siberian huskies' company when the VCD comes out. ok...1 great thing to look forward to. ((:

and about posiden. wahh. dead bodies...that was the most memorable part of the movie other than stacy fergurson's incredible singing (seriously, she's good!). the movie also sparked my interest towards rogue waves. they're rare BUT very powerful...imagine what immense powers they possess when they actually have the ability to topple a luxurious cruise liner! that's even freakier than a tsunami! learnt a little about flash fires too. and the moral of the story? don't die on board of a sinking ship! trust me, it ain't no good experience.

after taking some time to recover from our shock, we indulged in my long awaited teriyaki chicken rice bowl!!! ok...not the 3 of us to one rice bowl! yu rong and i had the chicken while marion took the salmon. and the wait for the potato waffles was forever...yu rong's share never came. then we had choc mint ice cream because my throat was itching for something nice and cooling. oohh...bad calories. my fault!

we didn know where to go after that as all of us harboured a grudge against orchard. especially me! after what happened at the bus stop outside far east which is so far away from home, i cant imagine what it wld be like to undergo such trauma again. boo! i no like buses 143 and 124!!!!

SO...we decided to go to my old house to see gingy also known as sucker! and this time round, i can only say "Sucker, you rock!" coz my darling put on mass! haha. yeahh! fats and a layer of meat! she grew side ways! FINALLY! length-wise expansion shld have come to a stop long ago. but no harm done! you can be a tall and fat rabbit. ok...maybe not fat. but at least - healthy and not bony! ((: stay cute ok? we'll find you a way home. i promise!

ok. i think my dinner's half digested. shld be hitting the showers soon! haha. good night everyone and happy vesak day!

2006-05-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

Late post: 9/5/2006

went out with ver, julie and wanyin today.
6 hours of shopping. DRENCHED thoroughly by the conventional rain because my handbag was too small to contain an umbrella. what luck!

oh well, but that wasnt the worse part. i am officially boycotting buses 143 and 124 because they haf inconsiderate and BLIND bus drivers who do not know how to bring their buses to a halt when they see a passenger flagging it down. YES, and I mean ONE passenger and that unfortunate soul was none other than ME. AHHH!!! i waited for 15 long minutes at that wretched bus stop that was packed with people, and those bus drivers didn even spare a thought for how i felt when they bypassed my bus stop JUST LIKE THAT! it was still drizzling. and my anger had reached an overwhelming level by then. SO...I decided to make my OWN move (though it wasnt exactly a veyr smart one). I told myself that i had to reply on my own two feet to get home and i did. NOT LITERALLY! I walked home from Orchard. IN THE RAIN! it was cold, sore and certainly exhausting. my flats slipped out of my foot thrice during the entire journey and i was almost knocked down because i assumed dat the red man would turn
green (which obviously did not happen). :(

the shopping trip today was pretty futile coz i didn get to buy any bdae presents as i had previously planned to do so. but we did take several neoprints in which half turned out horrendrous. we appeared like total zombies and the $10 just went down the drain! ahh. haha. but the other batch was nice. especially our eyes. though i looked boxed. aiyooo.

2006-05-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

YAY! the myes are finally over! what a long awaited day. ahha. and penguin was grinning from tooth to tooth. lol.

the physics paper was ok. hmm, I just hope that my judgement is correct and i dun end up doing badly after making this comment. :X

i was supposed to accompany ah maa to mount elizabeth hospital after the physics paper for a checkup. she's been complaining of a sharp pain in her abdominal area and i was wondering whether it would have anything to do with gall stones. but that sounds nearly impossible because her gall bladder was removed in a recent operation. weird. i hope it's nothing major. *prays*. but eventually, my presence wasnt needed because her appointment was re-scheduled to saturday.

so now im wondering about what plans to make in order to kill time from this 1 week break after the mye. haha. im probably gonna rot my time way and decompose. ahha, like what more can u expect from a couch potato like me? but this break has indeed come at the right time coz as far as im concerned, there are 2 bdae celebrations this week for 2 very special people. haha. shallnt mention names, otherwise i'll spoil the FUN. and can someone pls fill me in with the impt info regarding mum's day? is it supposed to be the 9th of may? or what? I need to pick a day to buy a venus fly trap for my mum! she's probably sick of handling cactuses by now so it's time for CHANGE! change is good, and i will definitely rmb to put an "AWAS" sign in front of the pressie just in case she sticks her hand in w/o realising what's actually inside. Yeahh, and i reckon that the outcome wouldnt be too nice a sight...hee, imagine getting ur hand digested by a plant. ok. u wun want to know or TRY!

ahh...and there's CIP for guides. it's been a VERY VERY LONG TIME. Despite having approached 2 children welfare organisations, little has been achieved with regard to CIP. hmm, i really hope thye hua kwan can accept us at their macpherson centres. otherwise, i wun know what step to take next. but the biggest prob is that the sec 4s are stepping down in t3wl! and that's extremely BAD. haix.

but there's 30t june! scgs campfire! one last sec 4 campfire! and we're gonna CHEER and SCREAM and rock the night! can't wait! can't wait! ((:

and of course, when reality finally comes into the big picture, the benefit of the doubt will be no more. i mean, not that im benefiting from any doubt coz i already know what to expect for my mye results. X) this morning, ms sim actually told a few of us that the chem paper was easier than last yr's and that was sufficient to leave me jaw-dropped for quite a while. it actually means that we're expected to do better and having achieved 80/100 for last yr's paper...i really don't know what to say with regard to the marks im gonna get for chem. yeahh, and i dreamnt that i got 39/50 for section B this yr (compared with last yr's 40)... ...

save me.

2006-05-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

CANDICE!! you are 16 years and 1 day old! haha. ((:

2006-05-05T20:32:00.000+08:00

ok. im totally screwed the biology paper. I guess you can only learn certain lessons the hard way. Despite knowing that positive attitude does wonders, I have yet to adopt one as such. Well, at least I know what step to take next. Time's running out-second after second. I have only one more shot at redemption-that is the Prelims. Then that's it. At this juncture, I'm reminiscing on past decisions-particularly the one I made about choosing trip sci. Ha..I'm not exactly a very BIG fan of science but I don't deny having a flare for maths. I love maths, not matter how eew e-maths can get or how amaths can drive me nuts at times. ((: haha. chemistry and physics too! BIO is too interesting to resist, but I just can't answer the questions relating to plant biology! I dunno why! I just keep screwing test after test, and exam after exam! And the most out-of-this-world thing is - I don't exactly feel upset over my failure. I try my best to pick myself up after every fall. But that effort is inconsistent. I mean, other than the exception made for my subjects of passion. It's high time I did something to change that fact. An effort on my part which is a great need.

2006-05-03T14:59:00.000+08:00

ahh!!! disaster struck! nope, it was neither an earthquake nor a tsunami. It was something worse - SOCIAL STUDIES! and it caused LOTS of social unrest - well, at least in the sec 4 cohort. boohoo!! it's a double confirmed, triple affirmed FAILURE! f9! if only i could pass. haha. i can dream abt it though. haix. one hour and thirty minutes was certainly insufficient for a subject that requires so much analysis. I guess it's too late to say this, but i might have made a wrong move choosing trip sci. hmm...one humanitiy subject - one KILLER humanity subject called SS/GE. Not that I want to implicate GE but...let's keep the fingers crossed. pls. i beg you. simplify things! i need to pass.

I was confused by differentiation and integration. haix. 6 marks. hastiness comes with a high price. no wonder my dad says it's never easy to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances. i mean, come on! I'm not even cool (though i originate from antarctica) haha! i hope that penguin 2 did better. for now, im praying for at least an a1 so i can buy a return ticket home. i miss the ice!

hmm...i never felt so hopeless before in my entire exam life. ahh...I spent the final 10 mins of the SS paper trying to cuckoo myself into doing the questions. Alas! It was to no avail! the words "sure fail de!" just kept circling in my empty head. i didnt even know what was expected of the questions. i tried to focus. wanted to scream and rip my paper. but surprisingly, i did not. just sat there and stared. wrote some words but i doubt they made any difference. oh well. what more can i say? God bless me. ((:

maybe things will take a turn for the better. chem. haven mugged at all. it's time.
haha. yet im wasting precious time. okok. let's keep it short and to the point. im keeping my hopes high for the upcoming science, emaths and geog elective papers. all of a sudden, 13 seems so far away. ahh. 13. ahh.

P.S.: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHI HAN!

2006-04-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

"Do not walk ahead of me. I may not know the way to follow.
Do not walk behind me. I may not know the way to lead.
Just walk beside me...as my Friend Forever."

- Yu Rong

2006-04-26T16:31:00.000+08:00

rain. rain. and more rain.
it's less than 24 hours to our first paper for the MYE.
please bless me.
i do believe that i am the only goon online at this crucial juncture.
here's the current line up for the upcoming MYE. my countdown to nothingness.
1)Chinese Language Paper 1 & 2
2)English Language Paper 1 & 2
3)Additional Mathematics
Social Studies
4)Chemistry (if only i had chemistry with A1s. lol)
Geog Elective
5)Mathematics
Biology
6)Physics

For the ultimate horror of semester 1
29th May 2006: Chinese O'levels. (ahh!)

so thy blog shall stay stagnant for the next 2 weeks to come. shoo mosquitoes! you are not welcome! dun breed. I don't want dengue.

cheeros.
i shld be going now.
munch more cookies.
gain more calories.
and CRY!
choy!
crappified.
somehow, i just dun feel *me* any more. haix.
oh well.
life's unfair.
nothing's perfect.
and i know i cant remain unchanged forever.
perhaps change is good.
then i think of sponge amd bob.
haha.
life goes on.
with ticking seconds.
changes everything.

and i just wanna say -
one dream, two lives and an unlikely fairy tale. beyond turned backs, silent visages and an unruffled exterior is someone close to my heart - someone like you.

cant rmb ur face, but what does that matter? you shall be un-flawed forever.(:

2006-04-18T17:16:00.000+08:00

uhh. yet another rainy day.
drip. drip. drip.
we're switching seats tmr!
time sure flies and if my memory doesnt fail me, i've sat with wanyin for nearly 4 whole months. 4 fun-filled and memorable months.
haha. sponge. this is the dedication i've owed you for quite some time.
having been allocated to sit with sponge has certainly made lessons more wholesome and enjoyable.
haha. especially today. lol.
prop-1-ene. that's so cool. believe it or not? miss pok wan yin's name can actually be written and pronounced in the form of an alkene's structural formula! lol. the 2 alternate chemistry periods today were certainly the most amusing lessons i've ever had. miss sim rocks!(: though organic chem is seriously nerve-wrecking and mind-blowing, it's one of the few, rare topics that can really get the lesson going! wow, it's great to know that carbon and hydrogen have such awesome prowess! haha. well, at least i didnt drift off to dreamland. i've finally experienced the NEED to FOCUS, to EXCEL and suddenly, I realise that i've gone horrendrously out of point!

OKOK! back to the dedication! my apologies, sponge. tmr's our last day as partners. ok, this sounds seriously weird - as though we're gonna depart from this world. CHOY! i haf great ambitions for the future. lol. and that applies to you too! yay! and we shall rock the mye and go vj together. haha. i know it's a nice statement but it's gonna take more than just words to make it come true. hard work. sheer hard work.

and to my partner-to-be:
PLS pardon me if i happen to annoy/distract you in one way or another in time to come. I am a pest by nature. the only difference that sets me apart from my fellow cockroaches and mosquitoes is that baygon doesnt kill me with one spray of its can. haha. but i'll shut up. promise! ((:

any last words? for the geek in the pink, sponge - one half of squarepants.
ROCK ON!
PRESS ON!
change is good. but too much change kills. be sponge, be you! (:

2006-04-17T15:01:00.000+08:00

haha! it's been more than a month since my latest post. the day that i had long awaited for finally came last week. yupp...internet access! and that wait seemed like eternity. but i guess it was worthwhile. and now that i've finally got what i want, i dun exactly know where to start. but here goes...

sch's still the same boring old school. living life according to a timetable sucks. we need something more unpredictable. haha...all right, exams. :/ im not exactly a very big fan of those though. lol. the preliminary orals commence tomorrow. hmm...and do i have the gift of the gab? ahha, maybe the gab for talking crap! im the ultimate distraction for my dear partner...not that i do weird things or what. haha. i just happen to talk too much. (: perhaps my retribution nears. come wednesday, the day when we officially swap seats for the term. ahh. and after telling mdm. faridah that i wanted very much to sit alone, i really wished i hadnt said that. WHY? i just hope she puts me with someone nice. pretty please.

then there was the meet the parents' session last thursday evening. wow.
VJC.
art stream - 6 points.
science stream - 5 points.
what im supposes to get - 13.2 points from a psle aggregate of 244.
what im getting - nowhere near the above statistics. trust me, u wun want to noe. (:

it's just like what my mum says.
"keet ah...how can you possibly advance from a current $5000 to $1.8 million?"
in my dreams? maybe.
winning toto or 4D? that's 1 out of 10 000 chances. credit to mrs. chia for her excellent coverage on perm and comb.
hard work. most likely. 1% determination and 99% perspiration. somehow, my dad always hits the bull's eye.
heehee...an L1R5 of 4 points? YES! Maybe. we'll see.
FAITH. PASSION. TRUST.
that's what i need.
and what you told me.
thanks anyway.
your words will certainly go a long way.

2006-03-03T23:27:00.000+08:00

"People have said time and again that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But what they will probably never understand is how I'll always be a winner for having loved you."

2006-02-26T13:45:00.000+08:00

ahha! Problem solved! all thanks to the ingenuity of YEO sining.
thank you! thank you!(:

2006-02-26T02:53:00.000+08:00

Well, there's always a first time for everything. haha. But first thing's first. I've realised that 1 mouth is not enough to express all thoughts and words. Hence, penning them down would be wonderfully ideal.

Cedar Guides Annual Campfire...
no more :( I've been pondering over Mdm. Faridah's words...is it really true that organizing an annual campfire is becoming less of a glad and more of a chore? The answer is out there somewhere, and as much as we wished that it will never be found, reality cuts into the picture. The real picture-REALITY. And so we reminicse the last 40 years - beginning till the very end. This would be the last campfire we can call our own, our last campfire as a Cedar Guide. may the best be saved for the last. Though blank spaces there may be, let's hope that gaps widen no more and bonds forged by the blazing council firelight remain lighted for all eternity.

Jiayou Sec 3s!