Saturday, August 12, 2006
11:29 PM
when things go wrong as they sometimes will,
when the road you are treading seems all up hill.
when the funds are low and the doubts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh.
when care is pressing you down a bit -
rest if you must, but don't you quit.
life is queer with its twists and turns,
as everyone of us sometimes learn.
and many a fellow turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.
don't give up though the pace seems slow -
you may succeed with another blow.
often the goal is nearer than
it seems to a faint and faltering man.
often the struggler has given up
when he might have captured the Victors cup,
and he learned too late when the night came down
how close he was to the Golden Crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar,
so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit -
it's when things seem worst that you musn't quit.
for those who've triumphed, well done! ((:
but for those who've faltered once, rest if you must, but don't you quit!
10:58 PM
i thought i could be strong...then everything came crashing down. i realise - that i'm only human after all. no tears were shed. nope...not even a drop. no trickling. no sobs. i expected the expected. so, it wasn't that unexpected after all. i guess most of my classmates thought that i would cry, especially after they learnt that both jolene and ying fang had As. Evan cried even though she said she wouldn't. There was laughter, sheer exasperation, disappointment, emotions of all sorts. i was numbed - but i did not know whether it was due to disappointment or disbelief. it can make you, but it can also break you. now, i feel as though i've been shattered into a thousand and one pieces, and regardless of whether i get fixed with the passing of time, i am certain that an unexplainable emptiness will continue to linger on in my heart. my brother said that i was merely overreacting...and that the elder siblings of his peers were exhilarated when they realised that they had achieved a b3. i dread this grade. but i dread myself even more. who's to blame for my present predicament? myself. and that's for not trying hard enough. thank you to all those for believing in my ability to excel, but i apologise because i've let all of you down. dun worry wan yin, your head will remain intact. and to those whom i asked to bring barrels for me to...because there were no tears, i guess we'll have to reserve those for another day. and to marcus...I'm sorry but that A continues to be non-existent...maybe until after my second try. Marion, be strong and don't cry. we can't win all the time. you were there to catch my tears. let me catch yours now. we can start a conservation project together and open a reservoir. haha. and for that candle, hope. for as long as it still shines. believe. it can make a difference. you can be that difference. so we faltered once, but we picked ourselves up and cleanse the gashes. it's not the end. in fact, it's the start of a new beginning. a beginning that we write and an end that burns bright. Rmb, it's not up to anyone else to make you give your best. Though many a time, our best may not seem enough. But at least we tried...and to our parents, I trust that it was enough. (:
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
1:24 AM
Colin Raye - Love me
I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."
We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:
If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.
If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
9:59 PM
that lingering emptiness. fix me.
haix. happy 41st national day. ok, no offense. im not here to dampen the spirit of red and white. we had our small-scale celebration in a major way in school this morning. a sea of red and white. meomorable indeed. The handful of prize winners managed a bird's eye view of the entire school from the third floor. The NDP marching contingent put up a splendid display of drills. YAY for guides! we did it once again! ((: hmm. it's disheartening to know that that was our last. how ironical. we saved the best for the last...and we brought the house down! (:
i just witnessed a spectacular display of fireworks for the pre-parade show - behind a tree!! so much for the skies being on fire. haha. i was really fired up when i realised that my beautiful firewroks were blocked by a tree. A tree! After putting so much faith in my register number of 4 years...all of it came crumbling down! WHY? because of a tree! aiyo. poor three. what a fate.
sining just told me that the pga results are out. fingers crossed. the longest drum roll in our lives is about to draw to a fade. anyway. win or lose. we're proud of you, host! the past few months have been gruelling, but you made it through all the same!! you said it's nice when people have faith in you; so you should all the more have faith in yourself. Jiayou SINING!! (:
.em ivegofr .yhtm wtb
you'll know why in time to come. haha. :P
