<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/22988374?origin\x3dhttp://silent--chatter.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
underneath the stars
looking into the past.

Navigations are at the top.

Saturday, July 07, 2007
12:26 AM






















"im staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain. wishing to go to a place where love is and feeling good won't ever cost a thing."

i want to go home, to the place where i belong. But deep down, i know that that place is no more.

i don't want to lie about how i really feel. seriously, this sucks.

i wish for smiles to find new owners...but the truth is, i gave up on mine a long, long time ago. i remember what sining used to say, "a smile is a curve that sets everything straight." but i suppose things will never really be that straight again. i really miss the cedar spirit. I know i really shouldn't say this, but going back to the school is actually somewhat like returning to an empty shell. i hate that lingering emptiness. i hate the feeling of staring at empty corridors. i miss hugging pillars. cedar's pillars. my pillars of strength.

cedar was the best thing that happened to me - and most of us i daresay. she made feeling blue like the best thing in this world. im blue through and through. (: it's just that this time around, it's the real thing. i thought i was strong...i thought 2 years would breeze past and we would all get on with life...somehow. but then, i came to realise that i've been lingering in the past. i've always been looking back.

"home" is an amazing song and it has been ringing continuously in my head for the past few days. time really flies...faces that were once familiar are now faded; but that's not the way i want things to be. i wish i could hold on to every single friend. imagine standing in an open field, watching balloons being released into the air, one after the other. that's something like graduation. we are the balloons. 4 years of holding on...and then came the letting go. and i recall the message marcus wanted to convey to verena. he said that "at times, the most difficult thing to do in life is not the holding on, but the letting go." 4 years flew by with the blink of an eye...and 4 years later, we knew from the bottom of our hearts that we would have wanted it no other way. cedar's way. (:


about/
tag/
links/
credits/
past/