one junction
numerous paths to choose from
one wrong move made
and you are slammed with a dead end
the remaining paths are frauled with unseen dangers
what would you do?
where would you go?
where do i truly belong? this question has been bugging me since i stepped into aj this morning. the orientation programme today was quite ok. haha. but it was definitely more enjoyable at the end. hah. they must haf saved the best for the last. it feels weird seeing guys walking around the sch compound. hah. i guess i really do miss cedar. :( i was reminsicing abt the fonder moments; thought abt our beloved tchers, the super dirty classroom which mrs lim always trashed the class for, the snails, the cedar eye, the clocktower, the tiles on the courtyard, blah. and most importantly, the CEDAR SPIRIT! it was quite quiet at the start. aiyo. shld haf talked more to myself. haha. got nagged at by ah ma for talking too loudly. it always happens. haha. but it felt nice to see the occassional specks of blue in the 800 strong jc1 cohort. it shows that a cedarian is always close by! :D
the people i've met so far are really nice too! but i only talked to the girls. seeing the world through my eyes would also mean that guys are generally non-existent. i just became oblivious to their presence. haha. and apparently, i wasn't the only stone today. hah. there was a bigger one at srjc! haha. miss pok ah! the guy wanted so badly to talk to you! how could u do that to him? tsk tsk. but to think of it, it is rather amusing. and im laughing to myself. -.-"
mr yau! small fish in a big pond. big fish in a small pond. i miss his fishy tales.
i really can't wait for the O-level results to be out. i guess it's because i want to step into the mph once more and feel the warmth of cedar. i also yearn for results that are good enough to qualify me for vj (then amanda can help to chain me permanently to its gates!) im mad. my whole mind is vj, vj, vj, vj! i wanna get dunked into the sea. they can do it a 100 times. i really dun mind. but the future is unpredictable and knows no bounds. where will we all be 6 mths from today? if only i'd knew. and there's aj - will i stay on if the other door of happiness opens? or would i even lack what it takes to stay on? so many questions, finite answers. as more doors open, we'll only be plagued by more questions. haix. at this rate, im bound to haf even more white hair.
and as i would usually say, "memories become my best companion." i know that they'll still be there even when you're gone; and that mesmerizing smile frozen in that frame of time.
the following is an excerpt from a chinese song translated into english. i chanced upon the article written by jamie teo for "hua yu ku" in the sunday times and she mentioned abt how certain words are more impactful when they are in chinese. totally agree. this song is one example. i hope i didn kill its essence. it's really really nice and meaningful. and of course, i wasn't the one who underwent the heartbreak. hees. -.-
put an end to the lying, the hiding and the panicking
for i know the answer concealed by your ailing heart
i am contented with the memory of your visage
that reflected much of the love you had when you thought that i was the one
the time has come and i hope that you will no longer live in fear and guilt
for the love that had once been is no more
and all that i yearn to be reminded of is the look of bliss when you were happy
#1 trick to successfully jio a chio bu or shuai ge
"you are cosine square and i am sine square. together, we are one!"
